undressed
I bought my first gym membership a couple of years ago, back when Mike and I had been dating for a few months. My life at the gym has generally been a positive one, even on the days when I don’t want to get on the ellipitical machine and I’m looking for any excuse to shelve the workout for another day: There isn’t anywhere to park! There aren’t any machines open! I don’t like to get my hair sweaty!
The one aspect of gym culture I have never been able to fully immerse myself in is the women’s locker room. Some backstory: my high school never had formal physical education. It was a small private school (very small–I graduated with a senior class of seven) that focused its energies on academics, especially on the Korean kids who had perfect SAT scores (and had carte blanche to sleep in class). My school did offer a modified P.E. course which was just walking to the gym down the street and the boys would weighlift and the girls would watch Tae Bo. I don’t mean work out to Tae Bo. We would just watch the tape playing in the corner TV and eat snacks until someone alerted the group that our teacher was coming and we’d get all upper-cut double time.
Even if there were showers large enough, we wouldn’t have undressed in front of each other, or showered in those long rows. This might have been a specific cultural nuance. I grew up on a predominantly Catholic island with a devout Catholic mother who would force half-slips on me with the warning that if I did not wear these fancy lacy static-clingy skirts-under-skirts people would laugh at me. Now, if you are also of Saipan stock, feel free to counter this with, “Mona, that might have just been your mother,” because I’m sure that I am the only one with a mother who told me not to sing during mass because I was off-key.
When I first went to the gym, specifically, the women’s locker room, I became immediately aware that I was not on Saipan anymore, Toto. Women weren’t cowering in the corner. Here is my locker room operandi: I get in and get out. I don’t lollygag. I don’t study my orange peel pores. And I certainly don’t PERFORM LUNGES WHILE NAKED. Or curl my hair, NAKED. Or poke my head out of the shower curtains and ask women like me to fetch them some hand towels because I got into the shower and realized there was no way to DRY MY NAKED BODY.
Granted, this body issue is all my own. I hate walking to my locker while women are tetrised all over the wooden bench. It is during this time that I say little prayers to the universe like, “Please don’t let this towel fall,” or “Please don’t let anyone judge me for my underwear with the stars on it.” It’s just that not everyone needs to know that my untoweled-body looks like it belongs on Discovery Health’s Mystery Diagnosis. But I guess you do now! And so does the rest of the internet!
And here’s a tip if you’re interested in joining a gym, wait until the end of the month and ask to speak to the newest salesperson there. You’ll get a better deal because these folks are trying to fill a quota and need all the sales they can get. Well, aren’t you glad you got something out of this long rambling?
so long, 2008
Linda’s sent out her annual end-of-the-year missive and I joined in:
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Go to two family reunions in the same month: one in Disneyland with my family, the other in St. Louis with my husband’s family. I gave blood. I also participated in cutthroat competition called Blarch Badness and I lost to the folks who nominated me, the mighty West Seattle Blog.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did not have any new year’s resolutions. I will definitely make more next year, like fitting into my expensive collection of size 8/10 pants. That is not a weight loss goal. That is a pants goal.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes. There were many babies, including two sets of twins!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
Disneyland! And again, Targetstan.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Upper body strength. And lower body strength. Just strength, really.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 15th was my third year anniversary. January 20 was my 25th birthday! November 4th was the election and I was very happy about that.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I made a life plan!
9. What was your biggest failure?
Living with thick-wolverine eyebrows for too long.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My shiny silver iMac. Oh this baby is so good to me. And my iPhone!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husband has been an incredible source of support. Whenever I’ve asked him for a favor (or 12), he always responds quickly and never holds it against me. He also bought my iPhone!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Whenever Elisabeth Hasselbeck opened her yap, and by yap I mean, her big robo-republican mouth. Not yap as in the beautiful island nation with the stone money.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Electronics and vacations.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I was very excited for the iPhone.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
“Foundations” by Kate Nash.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? Same.
c) richer or poorer? Same. I actually make more money, but I also spend more.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Working out.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating pork belly. Spending money.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
We opened presents at our house and later had dinner and more presents with our family in Marysville.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I fell in love with Wordpress.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Mad Men and 30 Rock were definitely the two highlights of my TV year.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone, but the people who were just annoying last year have grown exponentially more irritating.
24. What was the best book you read?
I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Kate Nash and She + Him
26. What did you want and get?
I wanted an iPhone and a new computer and I got them.
27. What did you want and not get?
A Nintendo Wii.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Burn After Reading.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had a day at the spa and later had dinner at the Space Needle. I turned 25 and it was wonderful.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More economic certainty.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Target Clearance Rack.
32. What kept you sane?
My son, family and strangely, blogging.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robert Pattinson.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The whole election was pretty stirring. It was the second time I had ever voted in a national election.
35. Who did you miss?
I miss my sister Bobbie. She’s my best friend and I was very happy to see her again this summer after FIVE YEARS.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I met several online friends in person, like Crystal Gable. She’s pretty cool.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
From Finding Nemo: “Just keep swimming.”
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
From “Winter Wonderland,” my favorite holiday song: “To face unafraid, the plans that we’ve made.”
clean slate
I moved over to wordpress which was a simple enough process. I also closed my previous hosting account and shuffled over to Dreamhost. Unfortunately, wordpress is not recognizing any of my previously blogger posts so I will probably have to manually move those gems over.
So bear with me, would you, my internet friend?
I’m glad to have a clean slate, to start the new year with something that doesn’t look so 1999 and I’m grateful that you’ve come around.
HALP ME: Technology edition
I’m doing fancy things to this here blog and I am scared about what will happen. I’m moving to a new hosting provider (yay!) and seeing what will happen once this moves over to wordpress. Because I don’t have an army of geeky peeps and I’m relying on my weak-signal brain power which only has enough room for my name, my son’s birthday and the episode of Little House on the Prairie where Mr. Olsen dumped the eggs on Mrs. Olsen’s head. Wish me luck!
christmas in review
We had a quiet Christmas morning. I made a breakfast of scrambled eggs and turkey bacon, during which I placed my baggy sweater too close to the gas flame and I saw this fiery poof race up my sleeve. I’m glad it was just my sleeve that suffered because I didn’t remember the whole “stop, drop and roll” until after I had stepped away from the stove and stopped yelling, “Oh! Oh! Oh!”
Nathan opened up his gifts from his aunts. He received two pairs of fleece pajamas from his godmother. My sister gave him a Thomas the Train puzzle that came in a tin train lunchbox. Nathan grabbed the box and went to the door, waving at us and saying, “Byeeeee!”
Good luck with your life, son. You and your empty lunch box. You and your transferable skills: alphabet recitation (save for “Q,” which he pronounces “deuce! deuce!”) and numbers (as of 12/08, he has mastered 2, 5, 8, 10. I guess he can do any 4-key tasks). You and your ability to retrieve the remote control from wherever Mommy points to.
Later that night, we carpooled with my brother and his family and drove up to Marysville to celebrate Christmas with the Andersons. My brother has known them longer than I have, but I’m glad to know them at all since every gathering at their house is filled with food and familia. There were so many people there that it was hard to find a seat and there were five people on the couch I was sitting on. It’s also heartwarming to be at a home where opening Christmas presents requires this disclaimer:
I received this awesome-sauce gift from my girl Di: A full-sized poster of Edward Cullen.
Mike’s asked me how long this is going to be at the top of the stairs. I say until he starts to love me the way a vampire would love me, meaning the hyper-romantic, unrealistic, borderline I WON’T BE IGNORED, DAN! kind of love that makes tween girls worldwide replace their entire vocabulary with a shrieking, “EDWARD! WOOOOOOO!” Including me. I would totally “wooo!” along with these girls, which is why this poster is staying where it is, welcoming me home every time I walk through the door.
Have you recovered from Christmas yet?
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quick 411
I'm Mona. I'm a 25-year-old full-time working mom of a boy named Nathan (born 2006), wife of a man named Mike and a resident of Seattle. I am originally from a small island called Saipan and I try to stay out of the rain, mostly.
"Kirida" is a Chamorro word bestowed on females, mostly the youngest or the favorite. I am the youngest of five children so you can figure out who the "kirida" was. Read more here. -
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