Pencils are erasist.

My famous author professor gave me a 3.4 on my first short-short story. I wasn’t hurt by it. My thematic matrix wasn’t as tight as it should be.

Seattle is incredibly expensive. People are always suffering from allergies. Everyone has one dog or three million cats. Most people can be divided into two categories: those who drive SUVs and those who want to bludgeon SUV drivers with a tire iron. But I love it. The most awesome bands come through this area. It’s easy to be a vegetarian. The literary heart here pulsates and draws me in… I can talk about gender roles and socioeconomic status without being a weirdo. And I can also find someone who worships Napoleon Dynamite as much as I do… Yessss….

If I had all the money in the world, I would be a top-of-the-line stereo system and crank out “Dakota” by Stereophonics. And I would buy you a muffin because you deserve it, friend.

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