I�ve always related to Lisa from The Simpsons. One of my favorite episodes features her posing as a college student, having fooled some young-looking girls on her gymnastics team. (Tangentially, this has one of my favorite Homer quotations. When Lisa�s new smart friends drop her home, a silhouette of Homer appears in the window. He drunkenly sings to the tune of Chumbawumba�s song: �I drink a whiskey drink; I drink a lager drink. And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink!�) On another episode, Bart prays to God for a snow day to come and cancel school so he could study for an important test. When it arrives, Lisa panics from the cancellation and pulls out an emergency school kit, a box that unfolds into a miniature classroom, complete with a school bell ringing and a teacher scolding someone for chewing gum.

I remember in fifth grade my mom left early in the morning to go to the store and I started to panic because she wouldn�t be back in time to get me to school. I started hyperventilating when finally I spotted her car start up the driveway.

That same year, I almost had a nervous breakdown when I thought I failed a homework assignment. My teacher tried to assure me that I hadn�t, but I started that dramatic crying with the jerky breathing that everything I said was a blubbering stutter.

I was attached to school like suction-cup Garfields to a car window.

And some days, I feel like Bart praying for a snow day, begging for just a little more time.

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