It’s a uter-us, not a uter-you.

I went to my first doctor’s appointment yesterday and here’s what happened.

1. I haven’t gained as much weight as I thought I did. In fact, I’m still at my pre-pregnancy weight. Maybe that’s because I store most of the fat in my head.

2. I’m actually 14 or 15 weeks now, instead of 10. (The doctor felt my stomach and said, “Oh there’s your uterus!”) I get my first ultrasound on thursday. I kept thinking of that Friends episode where everyone can point out the baby out of the gray hurricane-looking picture, but she can’t.

3. I heard the baby’s heartbeat. The doctor smeared some gel on my tummy and felt around before this loud and fast swoosh-swoosh-swoosh came over the speaker. I thought I was going to lose it there, in front of this woman who had just seen my hoo-hah. It was this epiphany, as if up until this point I was in a dream-like state and now, it’s really happening.

And since then I’ve been making that that audible nike-logo sound to myself, the swoosh-swoosh-swoosh and wondering how strange my mammoth heart must sound to this little hatchling.

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