Mike and I spent most of the week at a nice little coastal town called Ocean Shores, about 125 miles or so away from Seattle. I titled the excursion our “babymoon” since it’s not our honeymoon and I’m knocked up. More on this and why I think God hates the state of Washington in a minute.
Random pregnancy babble:
-Having a baby take up space inside my body hurts, especially when he performs a piledriver on my bladder.
-There are more strange yet magical moments when the baby stirs. Sometimes he rolls like he’s in a rotisserie oven, other times he’s an extra in a break-dancing movie.
-A lot of people stare at my belly. I want to say, “Hey buddy! My eyes are up here!”
-So here’s what I thought would happen to my body but hasn’t: my boobs would enlarge to ginormous proportions. I mean, I’m happy with them, but I always imagined that when I became pregnant, they would be knocking up against my knees.
-I’m so fat (how fat are you?, the audience asks), I have to iron my clothes on the side of a hot boat. I also jumped up the other day and got stuck. That’s how fat I am.