No speak English

What’s funny is that whenever we’ve been to Target, my mother suddenly wants something and asks one of the employees who then immediately turns to me with that quizzical “What did she say?” look.

Here are a few requests which I’ve translated with a loud and enunciated, “MY MOTHER IS LOOKING FOR…”:

-a sandwich crust cutter

-a Thermos

-Cotton balls

-Gerber Scalp Treatment

-Candles

-Niagra starch spray, with the yellow cap

And because I’ve frequented Target so often with mama-san, I had to decline my invitation to join the dinner with China’s President Hu at Bill and Melinda Gates’ home.

I missed out on the guinea fowl but they all missed out on hearing me rap a la Jay-Z, “Jigga-What? Jigga-Hu?”

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