The Chamorro method of shipping

My sister in Phoenix called me this morning asking me if I knew anyone flying in tonight from Phoenix who would also deliver the package of party favors for tomorrow�s baby shower. This is the Chamorro method of shipment. Find someone, anyone, flying to your destination and kindly request that they schlep your cooler of fish, plastic bags of ice keke and lemon powder or in my sister’s case, a box of overdue party favors. I’m sure shortly after the Postal Service reached Saipan, there were Chamorros willing to bypass that in favor of a cheaper routing system.

“Oh, I thought mom would have gotten into a fight with Uncle Frank and then fly over to Arizona�”

I don’t know what makes my sister bank on family violence, but I don’t believe her excuse. She’s known for a month about this party and my mother’s been here since Monday. Everyone knows that. More people are calling my mother than me and my mother hasn’t given birth since 1983. In any case, my mother will be receiving a box by tomorrow and will have to promptly pay for the delivery.

Even if that’s what my sister assumed, it’s in poor taste to assume at all. You know what assuming does. It makes an ass out of u and Ming. Poor Ming. Poor Chinese guy.

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