Get real

If hate talking to yakkity-yakkers on the phone and are too polite to hang up, get a baby. Babies are a great way to end a conversation, especially when you get an outsourced-telemarketing call.

An excerpt from this morning’s phone call:

“Listen, Gupta. Let’s be real here. You know and I know that your name isn’t Mark Smith.”

“No ma’am, I just wanted to let you know that our ‘Guaranteed Protection’ has a five-year-warranty…”

And this is the moment you can put the receiver to your baby’s open bleating mouth. It works!

I found a place to put my nursing pad

I secured a place for my nursing pad. Now it’ll never be lost.

He almost looks like a baby gorilla

Somehow my son morphed into a baby gorilla.

Why does he sleep with his eyes open?

I catch my son often sleeping with one eye open. I’m thinking of getting him an assault rifle for his birthday. Maybe he’ll trust his surroundings with a glock in his crib.

Bust out the Cristal, we got a baby-sitter!
Bust out the Cristal cause we got a baby-sitter!

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