Hi. I’m Mona.
I moved to Seattle in 2001 after living all but two years of my life on the tiny and gorgeous island of Saipan. The move from a temperate, tropical island to a tempermental, rainy climate was shocking. They don’t tell you in the guide books that it will be so cold, you’ll want to sit on your hands to use the toilet. I stay out of the rain, mostly. I suffer bouts of homesickness.
I started this website in 1999, when I was a junior in high school and thought it very clever to write hormone-charged, cryptic entries. I dropped the site for a while and started back up in late 2004. Since then, this website has chronicled my life as a non-profiteer, college student turned college grad, fiancee turned wife turned pregnant wife and now, stay-at-home-mom, or as I’ve learned, stay-at-home-all-the-long-ass-day mom.
I gave birth to a baby boy named Nathan on May 8th, 2006. I speak to him in a high-pitched sing-song voice while calling him nonsensical names such as, “My yummy honey bunny.” This rhymes with, “The boy who makes no money.” He likes it, so that’s cool with me.
I also write about my kooky family and the tragic comedy of being the youngest of five, having a mother who cannot pronounce the word “cheddar,” and a brother who made me lick nine-volt batteries and address him as, “Yes, sir, Lieutenant, sir.”
I often watch close-captioned television not because I need it, but because I am fond of subtitles. One time, my brother sat down next to me, looked at the text scrolling across the screen, placed his mouth next to my ear and yelled, “WHO IN THIS HOUSE IS HEARING-IMPAIRED?”
If you work for Saturday Night Live, I will sell you my immortal soul if you can get me on. I don’t need to be there throughout the show, I just want to say, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” I also dream that I will appear on Jeopardy and the final category will be “Mona Owns This.” I would bet it all, my friend.
I can be reached through email at mona at kirida dot com. I like comments, comedy, high-fives and you, my internet friend.