The obligatory "About Me" page

Hi. I’m Mona.


I moved to Seattle in 2001 after living all but two years of my life on the tiny and gorgeous island of Saipan. The move from a temperate, tropical island to a tempermental, rainy climate was shocking. They don’t tell you in the guide books that it will be so cold, you’ll want to sit on your hands to use the toilet. I stay out of the rain, mostly. I suffer bouts of homesickness.

I started this website in 1999, when I was a junior in high school and thought it very clever to write hormone-charged, cryptic entries. I dropped the site for a while and started back up in late 2004. Since then, this website has chronicled my life as a non-profiteer, college student turned college grad, fiancee turned wife turned pregnant wife and now, stay-at-home-mom, or as I’ve learned, stay-at-home-all-the-long-ass-day mom.

I gave birth to a baby boy named Nathan on May 8th, 2006. I speak to him in a high-pitched sing-song voice while calling him nonsensical names such as, “My yummy honey bunny.” This rhymes with, “The boy who makes no money.” He likes it, so that’s cool with me.

I also write about my kooky family and the tragic comedy of being the youngest of five, having a mother who cannot pronounce the word “cheddar,” and a brother who made me lick nine-volt batteries and address him as, “Yes, sir, Lieutenant, sir.”

I often watch close-captioned television not because I need it, but because I am fond of subtitles. One time, my brother sat down next to me, looked at the text scrolling across the screen, placed his mouth next to my ear and yelled, “WHO IN THIS HOUSE IS HEARING-IMPAIRED?”

If you work for Saturday Night Live, I will sell you my immortal soul if you can get me on. I don’t need to be there throughout the show, I just want to say, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” I also dream that I will appear on Jeopardy and the final category will be “Mona Owns This.” I would bet it all, my friend.

I can be reached through email at mona at kirida dot com. I like comments, comedy, high-fives and you, my internet friend.

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  1. my moms family is from saipan too. san antonia, chalan kanoa, and san vicente. we should trade saipan stories one day.

  2. Let’s do it. You first!

  3. James and I used to joke about naming our sons different military ranks. We think it’d be cute to tell Brigadier General to tell Sergeant Major to clean his room. šŸ˜‰

    I, too, enjoy watching TV with closed captioning on. Before we had Katelyn, I would turn them on, and James would turn them off. Now that there is a sleeping baby in the room at night, we both get upset when there aren’t any subtitles.

  4. “…having a mother who cannot pronounce the word ‘cheddar’…”

    mona, mona, mona…thanks for my daily dose of laughter. you crack me up, my internet friend.

    for the love of humanity, my mother is a reading specialist. ask her to say kohls, and the word “kohl” will come out. i’m not sure if you heard of the theme park, kings dominion? it may be an east coast thing. anyway, she calls it “kings dominioM.” i could go on and on.

    ooh boy, my mother is hilarious.

  5. I bet the three of us’d come up with a great compilation of Saipan Vernacular and Things Our Mother’s Say.

    For the life of her, my mother cannot pronounce cholesterol. It’s always cholAsterol. And my Aunt, she’s great, but according to her, my daughter’s name is KatelAn.

  6. That was a great intro! I am a SNL fan too! I wish I had a connection to get you on there! You have an awesome sense of humor… I think you are at least a prospective writer for the show!

  7. great bio, mona. josie from L13 brought me your way today!

  8. You write brilliantly! I got to your site via Josie at L13, and now I’m hooked with your clever, tough, and down-to-earth entries. It’s a bonus that you’re a library user too. Keep up the creativity. šŸ™‚

  9. based on the fact that I just found your blog today and you posted about teaching your child to read using Gilmore Girls subtitles, I just had to comment here and say that my husband and I are the subtitle kind and queen. Seriously. And everyone makes fun of us for it…..but at least we know every word that was said!

  10. Hello, just a post to say I’m reading your blog and enjoying. Also, I always watch TV with closed captioning going, so I get you…

  11. I was goggle-ing “baby modeling seattle” and I came across your blog. I am interested to learn about your/your baby’s experience (great photos by the way!). email me at (don’t have a blog account) if you don’t mind me asking some questions. thanks!

  12. Anonymous says:

    Hey Mona….My name is Frances…..I was born in Guam but grew up in Saipan till I was about 9. I went to Mt. Carmel Catholic school and to San Vicente. I stumbled upon your page because something caught my eye. I was looking up a certain Pastor in
    Saipan that…. (put it this way….was not a Godly Pastor)….when I googled his name, this was one of the pages that came up. His name is Bob Berkey. Would you happen to know him? Saipan is such a small island that everyone knows eachother. I lived in Garapan, Capitol Hill and Aslito so we pretty much got around the island there. Can you please let me know if you know of this pastor? The reason I ask is because something has truly been bothering me for the past 24 years of my life. (I am 31 now, a wife and a mother of 3) and I just cannot let it go just yet!!. Put it this way….I have a few un-resolved issues with this person before he gets too old to hear what I have to say. I know it sounds a little weird, please don’t let this letter scare you off, I am just amazed by how many people from Saipan actually still communicate out here. Anyway….I just wanted to know if you happen to know a pastor by the name of Bob Berkey. Pleasee reply soon…

    Thank you…


  13. Frances–you didn’t leave any contact info, but feel free to email me at
    mona at kirida dot com.

    He was my principal for four years. Yes I know him.

  14. Hey there. Just a fellow Saipanian(thank si joe torres for that one heh) in WA enjoying your blog. Your hilarious entries keep me awake during the graveyard shifts… thx =)

  15. Anonymous says:

    Hi Mona….I just emailed you at Hope you to hear from you soon!!

    Thanks šŸ™‚


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