I got dissed by another mom at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart, of all the friggity-frack places in the world to get dissed. I can understand getting dissed at Macy’s or Sizzler, but Wal-Mart? What bloated bag of hate disses a fellow mother in a place that sells stirrup pants for 8.97?
While my mother scoured the shampoos, I spotted a woman with the same Graco travel system model. As she approached me, I waited for her to look at my stroller then look at her stroller and laugh and shrug at the sheer coincidence of two people with the same stroller in the same green plaid fabric. Then we would have one of those scenes in the movies when two people hold hands and spin each other around and the camera zooms in on each face while the world blurs behind them.
But instead of grabbing my hand and frolicking in a meadow, the woman turned her body away as she passed. She went all Adam Smith on me, sticking her invisible hand to my face, saying, “Talk to this!” Paa-shaa! She had to have seen me. My gargantuan stroller and I were not in stealth-mode. And those Curious George band-aids were not *that* interesting.
I wanted to yank the scrunchy out of her hair and yell, “Awww-hell-naah! We are pressing instant replay on this mutha and you and I are going to have a moment!”
And if Nathan could walk, I bet he would have kicked her in the shins to avenge his mother’s dissing.