9 weird things about me

Gina tagged me almost a week ago! Double ack!

1. In the fifth grade, my crush on Kids in the Hall’s Dave Foley was so severe, I was willing to forego piano lessons and pull that money for a plane ticket to Toronto.

2. I never wear anything sleeveless because it shows the birthmark below my right shoulder. If you’re curious, my birthmark looks like Greenland. There is also a small mole, which I call the “You Are Here” dot.

3. I am a bad liar. Example: I mastered Mortal Kombat around the same time a cute guy asked me what my name was. I freaked out and said, “Kitana.” At least I didn’t say Sub-Zero. I think he would seen through that. Another example: I stayed in Hawaii with my brother one summer and bought a fake ID. My brother sent me to the store to buy beer and when the Korean guy asked me about my college in Virginia (as per the ID), I told him I was in Hawaii since spring semester just let out. When I relayed this to my brother, he replied, “Spring semester? Mona, don’t you know it’s August?”

4. I cannot perform math on the spot, particularly subtraction. I clam up and suddenly, 32 – 9 turns me into an extra from that movie Awakenings.

5. I cannot stand straggly eyebrow hairs on my husband. I have to fight the urge to grab my tweezer and attack his face. Usually, I’ll just stare at his eyebrows until he gets the message that I want to rip them out.

6. I can sound like a man. I have freaked out my sister by calling her pretending to be a guy at DHL trying to contact her because her box of panties had opened during shipment and we needed her to verify that the mesh thongs were hers. Too funny.

7. I have flat feet. You know that poem about taking a walk with God called, “Footprints”? Well, mine aren’t that photogenic. It looks like I have pancakes for feet.

8. Even though I am from a tropical island, I cannot eat anything hot or spicy. Though I can handle it now, in the second grade, I couldn’t take mint-flavored toothpaste. My dad bought me a Miss Piggy strawberry flavored one to get me to brush my teeth.

9. I’m really good at making banana bread but really bad at eating bananas. They brown before I can get to them, hence, the abundance of banana bread. I tend to bake when I have something else to do but am putting it off. I call it: procrasti-baking.

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Comments

  1. Mommy off the Record says:

    People have said I can sound like a man too. I guess my voice is on the deep side. Not until I read your post, though, did I realize that I could really put it to good use. Mesh thongs. LOL

  2. Anonymous says:

    First off, I miss Kids in the Hall! Loved that show!

    #4, made me spit my drink. I can relate. I turn into “These definitely aren’t my underware…” Rainman, and feel really stupid around my genious husband. Well, that makes me feel flattered actually, because now I know he didn’t marry me for my brains, he thought I was HOT, LOL!

    #3, I tend to smile too much when I ltry to pass off a lie, not good. I probably look a little like Jack Nicholson.

    Great list of weird things.

  3. Anonymous says:

    i am officially your biggest fan.

    cee

  4. I tried to comment last night and blogger was being a booger!

    AWESOME list! So funny! I learned bunches about you! And THAT is why I tagged you!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Well Mona, it seems we have a lot in common, besides a sweetly wacko sense of humor.

    I never wear anything sleveless because I have scrawny arms. It’s a much easier solution than going to the gym.

    (I’m actually a pretty good liar, but long ago decided to make a point of telling the truth, so here the difference is moot.)

    I used to be amazingly good about performing math on the spot, but too many Comopolitans and a lazy tendency to rely on calculators and spreadsheets have reduced my capability to your level or worse.

    Scraggy eyebrows? I’m not a fan either. Left to their own devices, mine would look like Donald Trump’s if I let them “go” and I do not want to look like Donald Trump, I only want our checkbooks to look similar. I have never admitted this before (hence the Anonymous status), but I do take a pair of small sewing scissors to my furrowed brow now and then to keep the unibrow look at bay. Come to think of it, now I know what I’ll be doing when I complete this list.

    I can sound like a man too….hey, wait, I AM a man. What was worse was when I was growing up and I would answer the telephone, only to have my mother’s friends think it was SHE answering the phone. Ugh. I thought I had supressed that memory.

    I have flat feet too. Well, one very flat foot, anyway; the other one has a low arch. The difference used to be greater, especially during my early teen years, the worst possible time for body image issues, after my right arch “fell” but before my left one did. It was majorly embarrassing at the time, especially when one of my classmates caught sight of my disparate footprints in the locker room. Ugh, I thought I had supressed that memory, too. These days I actually prefer the way my flat foot feels; I love the feeling of having my sole making complete contact with Mother Earth (or just the carpet at the end of the day when I come home and kick off my shoes). So, please reconsider your self image here…having pancake feet can be fun, once you get used to the idea. For one thing, we’re more grounded than the average person with arches, poor thing.

    I don’t like hot/spicy foods either. Sometimes having an acute sense of taste and smell is not a plus (although I love that characteristic of mine too, most of the time).

    I can turn out a nice loaf of banana bread too and my bananas usually get a bit overripe also–but I like them that way, so don’t get to make much banana bread. I am great at procrastinating, though.

    Love,

    Your Secret Admirer

  6. How come we didn’t hang out as kids?

    I loved Kid’s in the Hall!

    I only had two games for my sega genesis 1) sonic and 2) Mortal Kombat – as much as I wanted to be Kitana, I usually played Sub-Zero.

    I can’t perform math on the spot either. The other day my boss asked me how I calculated something. Oh my gosh, I stuttered and I stumbled over my words until my coworker stepped up and explained it.

    Even though my mom smashes donni into salt and eats some with every meal, I did not inherit the pika gene. I like tobasco in my soba and kimchi from Rakuen, but that’s about all the spicy I can take.

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