Gina tagged me almost a week ago! Double ack!
1. In the fifth grade, my crush on Kids in the Hall’s Dave Foley was so severe, I was willing to forego piano lessons and pull that money for a plane ticket to Toronto.
2. I never wear anything sleeveless because it shows the birthmark below my right shoulder. If you’re curious, my birthmark looks like Greenland. There is also a small mole, which I call the “You Are Here” dot.
3. I am a bad liar. Example: I mastered Mortal Kombat around the same time a cute guy asked me what my name was. I freaked out and said, “Kitana.” At least I didn’t say Sub-Zero. I think he would seen through that. Another example: I stayed in Hawaii with my brother one summer and bought a fake ID. My brother sent me to the store to buy beer and when the Korean guy asked me about my college in Virginia (as per the ID), I told him I was in Hawaii since spring semester just let out. When I relayed this to my brother, he replied, “Spring semester? Mona, don’t you know it’s August?”
4. I cannot perform math on the spot, particularly subtraction. I clam up and suddenly, 32 – 9 turns me into an extra from that movie Awakenings.
5. I cannot stand straggly eyebrow hairs on my husband. I have to fight the urge to grab my tweezer and attack his face. Usually, I’ll just stare at his eyebrows until he gets the message that I want to rip them out.
6. I can sound like a man. I have freaked out my sister by calling her pretending to be a guy at DHL trying to contact her because her box of panties had opened during shipment and we needed her to verify that the mesh thongs were hers. Too funny.
7. I have flat feet. You know that poem about taking a walk with God called, “Footprints”? Well, mine aren’t that photogenic. It looks like I have pancakes for feet.
8. Even though I am from a tropical island, I cannot eat anything hot or spicy. Though I can handle it now, in the second grade, I couldn’t take mint-flavored toothpaste. My dad bought me a Miss Piggy strawberry flavored one to get me to brush my teeth.
9. I’m really good at making banana bread but really bad at eating bananas. They brown before I can get to them, hence, the abundance of banana bread. I tend to bake when I have something else to do but am putting it off. I call it: procrasti-baking.