I found out that my insurance fully covers the IUD, so I made an appointment. The receptionist said that everything could be done in forty-five minutes, granted my cervix was good enough.
Is there a chance my cervix won’t be good enough? As evidenced by my birth story, I have a very popular cervix. I have the Cervix du Soleil! But is there some sort of hazing ritual my cervix will have to endure to prove its loyalty to whomever is doing that finger-dinger-dance up there? I watched this Lifetime movie in which Hilary Swank was in a sorority and they blindfolded her and made her eat eggshells so she thought she was chewing glass. I hope my cervix doesn’t have to do that. It may be the Cervix Class President, but I have to admit, it’s a pussy.
(Gawd, was that last sentence necessary? I know my niece reads this! I also know that my uncle read this blog before I had a chance to erase everything and replace it with an online tribute to the Virgin Mary. Doh!)
So… those of you who have had an IUD, will it hurt? That’s a stupid question. I know it’s not going to be like sleeping on a hammock on an ocean liner, but do I have to do anything to prepare? Tae Bo, maybe?
We had about fifteen trick-or-treaters last night. There were the requisite princesses and ninjas. What stood out were the two teens who wore street clothes and Scream masks who did not look EIGHT YEARS OLD and the one kid who held out a backpack and then turned around to show his other backpack and asked, “Could you give some candy for my cousin? He’s not here. He’s at the house.”
Your absent cousin. At the house. Riiiiight.