Half a year

At Nathan’s six-month check-up, I told his doctor about the massive trench-rash going on in his diapers. She said, “See these red dots? That’s a sign of yeast.” Yeast? Lady, he’s a baby, not a sourdough loaf.

My son weighs 22 lbs 13 oz which is in the 98th percentile. He’s 28 inches long which fits in the 95th percentile. His 18 and a half-inch head? Off the charts. Also, a monkey jumped into the room and Nathan drop-kicked the hairy beast. The doc scanned her charts but couldn’t find a number. I told her I’d have to get him a spacesuit cause it’d be out of this world!

There haven’t been any teeth yet, but I can tell they’re coming. Lately during breastfeeding, he gnaws or clamps down and throws his head back like my nipple is a Stretch Armstrong doll and not a nerve-filled part of my body. He also says things like, “Mamamamama,” which does not translate to “mother” but rather “shake your laffy taffy, your laffy taffy.”

And about the diaper rash: what worked better than giving my son’s butt a kabuki facial with the doctor-suggested-clotrimazole was the oatmeal bath I learned via parenthacks. I also played Hall and Oates for good measure, but that’s because I prefer their version of “Maneater.” Yeah, I’m looking at you Nelly Furtado!

Nathan's weigh-in

Nathan was first weighed on that scale when he was three days old. His tiny body sunk into the bucket seat and I never thought he would be any bigger than that. And now, he’s only a few ounces away from being beefy enough to take on a silverback. I’ll have to take him to those places off the freeway where they weigh 18-wheelers.

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  1. cuteness!!! I love babies…sorry to hear about the diaper rash.

  2. Mommy off the Record says:

    Ah, he is such a cutie – all 23 pounds of him! Makes me want to pinch those little fat rolls!

  3. “Shake your laffy taffy”

    Totally snorted at that one!

  4. I think my ONE AND A HALF YEAR OLD daughter weighs about 23 pounds. šŸ˜€

  5. RJ had a yeast infection like that when he was the same age…I always thought he was weird, glad to hear he’s not the only baby boy getting it.

  6. Delurking to say two things:
    Lady, your back must be wicked strong. More power to you for producing such attractive, healthy offspring. He is mighty and his adorable-ness will lead him to world domination.

    Thank you, Deece. I’m glad I’m not alone. My 2.5 year old weighs 24 pounds. If she had weighed that even at 1 year old, I’d be in a full-body sling from the back pain today. Oof.

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