Yesterday, I ran into an old classmate at Target. She had just said yes to marrying her boyfriend of three years and was rosy with the newly-engaged glow. When she flashed me her 3-carat diamond ring, I took her bling-blinged-fist and shoved it into the air, yelling, “WONDERTWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!”
The conversation didn’t last much longer.
If I see a reason to summon the forces of the Justice League in Target’s baby section, I’ll do it. It’s not a shocker that I have a big mouth and crap comes out that I just can’t help. It’s like when you sneeze really hard and pee a little. You can’t stop that.
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Mike has a pair of black reading glasses I am convinced are designed for a woman. Here are my reasons: the rhinestones in the corner, the cat-eye shape, the menopausal vibe I get whenever I see it. I would take a picture, but I can’t find the glasses. I’d have to ask him for it and I can’t think of a reason other than to get photographic evidence that he cross-dresses his eyes.
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While I am in St. Louis, I will be dreaming of my recently acquired box of awesome: a “vintage” 16-bit Sega Genesis game console. I don’t care for all the wii and xbox frenzy. What I want is to finally master Mortal Kombat. Sonya and I have some finishing to do. Best part is, I got this for free! Free! Free stuff is greater than cheap stuff. Do you need a visual? Well, here is it is, on the house: free > cheap.
Welcome back into my life, 1992. You’ve been missed.
Free also happens to be my favorite brand of beer.
yeah but did you ask her if her diamond is “conflict free?” I would have, and then I would have shamed her for not knowing, because she probably doesn’t know.
If it’s not a conflict diamond, I will grab her and say, “THUNDERCATS, HO!”
and also…if she has a 3 carat diamond why the hell was she shopping at Target?
You are SO funny!
Because the De Beers store is too far. Duh!