I haven’t matured much

Yesterday, I ran into an old classmate at Target. She had just said yes to marrying her boyfriend of three years and was rosy with the newly-engaged glow. When she flashed me her 3-carat diamond ring, I took her bling-blinged-fist and shoved it into the air, yelling, “WONDERTWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!”

The conversation didn’t last much longer.

If I see a reason to summon the forces of the Justice League in Target’s baby section, I’ll do it. It’s not a shocker that I have a big mouth and crap comes out that I just can’t help. It’s like when you sneeze really hard and pee a little. You can’t stop that.

Mike has a pair of black reading glasses I am convinced are designed for a woman. Here are my reasons: the rhinestones in the corner, the cat-eye shape, the menopausal vibe I get whenever I see it. I would take a picture, but I can’t find the glasses. I’d have to ask him for it and I can’t think of a reason other than to get photographic evidence that he cross-dresses his eyes.

While I am in St. Louis, I will be dreaming of my recently acquired box of awesome: a “vintage” 16-bit Sega Genesis game console. I don’t care for all the wii and xbox frenzy. What I want is to finally master Mortal Kombat. Sonya and I have some finishing to do. Best part is, I got this for free! Free! Free stuff is greater than cheap stuff. Do you need a visual? Well, here is it is, on the house: free > cheap.

16-Bit Sega Genesis

Welcome back into my life, 1992. You’ve been missed.

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Comments

  1. Saipan Chamoale says:

    Free also happens to be my favorite brand of beer.

  2. R A C H E L says:

    yeah but did you ask her if her diamond is “conflict free?” I would have, and then I would have shamed her for not knowing, because she probably doesn’t know.

  3. If it’s not a conflict diamond, I will grab her and say, “THUNDERCATS, HO!”

  4. R A C H E L says:

    and also…if she has a 3 carat diamond why the hell was she shopping at Target?

  5. You are SO funny!

  6. Because the De Beers store is too far. Duh!

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