What has two thumbs and is celebrating a birthday today?

What has two thumbs and is celebrating a birthday?


The downside of being born in January is that everyone is broke from Christmas, so I end up with the leftover giftsets like a blush and eyeshadow palette meant for white Europeans or a Far Side desk calendar with the good pages torn out.

My ice cream birthday cake

What kind of blows about being born on January 20 is that it’s also the Inauguration Day, so every four years some guy takes the spotlight from me just because he was elected. Whatever! Damn you, US Constitution, with your freaking 20th Amendment getting in the way of my celebratory goals.

A few times Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday has also fallen on January 20 and there’s an unwritten rule that says, “This is MLK Day, so don’t complain jerkface!” I mean, I don’t want to be the a-hole who shifts the federal holiday focus back onto myself, even though this is my freaking birthday. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Civil Rights Movement!

And no one really cares about my birthday when it’s also the opening of the Olympic Sculpture Park and the final revelation of the code to unlock Manaphy, a diggity-dang animated POKEMON character.

I’m 24 today which means that I’m too old for raging keggers, Girls Gone Wild and Playboy’s Girls of West Seattle or even their Girls of Saipan Special Edition.

Total Access

But I’m not too old to use my pointy high-heels to pervert the sign at the Fauntleroy Blockbuster. Sexy time!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


  1. thecandyqueen says:

    I didn’t know it was your bday. Some friend I am. Happy Birthday! I always hated my birthday too because it’s in the summer and I never got to celebrate it in school. But now I think it’s cool because it’s always sunny and warm. One day you’ll value the day of your arrival šŸ™‚

  2. Thanks CandyQueen!

  3. Happy belated birthday! Hope you had a great one :^)

  4. Happy Birthday!! Welcome to your mid-twenties.

    Wait, how did Jessica Simpson put it? Something about 24 is almost 25 which is ALMOST mid-twenties.

  5. This year my birthday is on Father’s Day which reeks as well, so I demand an entire month in which to celebrate my birthday.

    Happy birthday!

  6. My birthday is on Christmas.

    Jesus who? This is my what present? Why is it in Christmas paper?

    Really, i don’t care, but it is fun to bitch about.

  7. Oh, The Joys says:

    “Happy To YOU!” (as The Mayor says) most funniest of all wimins!

  8. happy birthday sweetie =) as you know it’s my sister’s birthday also, and she left a long message on our answering machine about how Jan. 20th is never just her special day she has to share it with other things…

  9. Happy belated birthday!

    : )

  10. It’s funny how someone turning 24 can make a 27 yearold feel old. Happy Belated Birthday. šŸ™‚

  11. Hey Mona – Happy Freakin Birthday!!

    OK, so it’s belated *cringe* (I hate that word)..but Saipan is like a few days behind the US, right? šŸ˜‰

    Wish I could have been there to throw one back in your name.

    Elect Mona Concepcion Hickey!!

  12. Gina - Liam's Mom says:

    Happy (late) Birthday you fabulous woman!

    I guess it could be worse… you could have been born on Feb. 29th of leap year and only have your birthday every 4 years.

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge