Real moms grin stupidly so they can feed their children before they’re allowed to enjoy their vegan seitan sandwich. Just so you know, “seitan” sounds very much like “satan” and for most of the meal, I thought I was eating a sandwich influenced by the dark prince.
Real moms also take whatever kind of kiss they can get, even if it’s a chomp on the nose.
Real moms also seek revenge by dressing their sons up in uber-preppy vests and berets. If you can’t use your words, you can’t complain. Actually, you can, but I can’t find “WAAAAH!” in my Nathan-to-English dictionary.
(thanks Odawni for the photos!)