Resolved: Double strollers are cool and baby number 2 may be evil

Here’s a debate that goes through my head:

I want another baby.

No, Mona, you don’t want another baby.

I’m still young and full of life! I can handle another child!

Give me a break. You’re so tired when you come home from work, you can’t even make it through an episode of LOST.

Well, that’s because they switched the time to 10 o’clock! If they had kept it at 9, I would know what’s going on! And why aren’t people hairier? They are very smooth and attractive for not having shaving equipment around! And where’s Walt? And why hasn’t Hurley lost any weight?

What if the next child turns out to be like one of The Others or worse, Damien?

Then Nathan will have to enter the priesthood at 18 months so he can perform the exorcism. We’ll have to keep it in the family. Maybe then he can tell me what those polar bears were doing on an island.

Be honest, why do you really want to have another child?

Well, double strollers are kind of cool.

I don’t want another baby. But I want another baby. And this is how I’m flip-flopping in my mind. Chances are, we’ll be able to plan the next one, but Mike and I aren’t sure when that’ll be. Some days, we look at our slobbering child with Gerber puffs stuck to his face, who squeals and bah-bah-bahs at us and think, maybe we’re okay with just one. Nathan is so full of awesome and (generally) good health that the odds might not be in our favor in having another baby who loves cats (and their respective food) as well as his parents.

But the real issue here is that during a lunch-break stroll through Pottery Barn Kids at the U-Village, I was disgusted by their “Sail Away” room set. Obviously, no Pacific Islander was consulted when the design-for-the-rich team came together with a $2,695 Speed Boat Bed and Trundle. Why would I shell out almost 3K for a bed that looks like a boat. Why not buy a boat that could be used as a bed? Then when your child grows out of it, you can use it as a boat! And why are convertible cribs only used for beds afterwards? Why couldn’t you convert a crib into, say, a gazebo? An island kitchen? A complete set of the 1978 World Book Encyclopedia? My Nintendo GameBoy from 1988 with super high Tetris scores?

But no one asked me, which is why I return to the inner dialogue with my voice of reason, one who doesn’t think that double strollers are reason enough for another baby.

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Comments

  1. Yeah, I’m going through this debate in my head all the time. I want another baby that’s almost a year old. Or at least 4 months old. If I could skip the beginning, I’d probably do it. But I’m not sure if I can handle the beginning, even if it does mean super awesome baby products. I wish someone would make the decision for me!

  2. Hee. I’m still having this debate. Even though it’s a little late to back out now.

    That second-to-last paragraph is pure gold.

  3. jonniker says:

    “obviously no Pacific Islander…” That sentence? KILLED ME. BAH!

    oh and please don’t ask me about babies. I can’t even pull the trigger on one.

    (my word verification is Ibiza. how fun!)

  4. Shirley Eugist says:

    If you like the idea of a double stroller, get one! Then put all your crap in the second seat. Voila! Usefulness without all of the responsibility of double-parenthood.

  5. Butrfly4404 says:

    I know whatcha mean, girl.

    A Funny.

  6. Brillig says:

    Oh, how I recognize this particular debate. I went through this. I caved. I had that second baby when my first was only 16 months old. And then again, and again, until I now have 4 kids and the oldest was still four years old when the fourth was born.

    And yes, I have a double stroller and it IS the coolest thing in the whole world, except that now all FOUR of the kids want to ride in it. And no, I’m NOT buying a stroller that seats four, because where a double stroller is kinda cool, a quadruple stroller just announces that I’m a ridiculously fertile mormon housewife constantly covered in someone’s puke and someone else’s pee and likely some spit up too…

  7. Mayberry says:

    Don’t EVEN get me started on the ridiculousness that is PBK… two is good, though. Two spaced out three years is even better.

    A propos Shirley’s brilliant ifea: Have you heard that Stephen Wright line about getting a double stroller, putting one kid in it, and then walking around looking frantically all over because the second kid is missing? priceless.

  8. I’m glad I have some double-stroller support up in here! I’ve been thinking that the second seat and worth its cumbersome size just for the storage or the potential Wright-inspired prank!

  9. Swistle says:

    I think you’re right: as long as they move Lost back to 9:00, another baby would work out fine.

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