Can I just freak out a little here because my mother is coming TOMORROW and there is still so much to clean and HIDE. I’m practicing lines like, “Some sinner must have gone into my closet and put those movies there, Mom. They’re not mine, I swear,” and “This is the button you press if you want to watch Gunsmoke.”
Last year, my mother wrote a book on how to be a wife, but it wasn’t on how anyone should be a wife, but rather, how MONA should be a wife to MIKE. I haven’t even given any thought to it, but now that she’s coming tomorrow, she’ll find out that I haven’t been waking up at the crack of dawn to hem all my husband’s pants and I only use one setting on the iron: hot.
So if you have any unfinished pillow cases I can pawn off as my own, I’d really appreciate your sending them my way. And if you have a cave on your property where I can temporarily store certain, um, items, that would be greatly appreciated, too.