So I know it’s a long shot. Only the first 100 people will be seen which means I’ll have to there early. This will not be on television (so no chance of my mother finding out…yet). There will most likely be crowds and a few crazies, but this is where it starts, right?
I figure that if I admit it here publicly like this, you’ll ask me later how it’s going and I’ll have to answer. This is why I’d hesitate to admit publicly that I’m on a diet because 1) who are we kidding and 2) that would call for some kind of will power. There’s a better chance of reuniting both Koreas than there is of me being restrained successfully from a plate of cupcakes. But I don’t have time to share with you the riveting tales of how I was owned by the 2 for $5 ice cream sale at Albertson’s. As much as I am worried about polished punchlines, my real question is why after giving birth, my feet have swollen to a size so big that South America has banned me for fear that my dinosaur footprints could clear out the rest of the rainforest.