my version is never lame

Now that Mike has finished the Husky Den, the once clear purple walls are lined with very important items, like my honors senior thesis because who knows when I need to pull out my detailed analysis of the Victorian child and what if we have a Victorian literature emergency? WHO WILL HELP YOU THEN? No one expects a Crimean War, I tell you!

Mike has been threatening to get rid of the jogging stroller because, um, Nathan’s never asked to be in it so it’s all his fault. Way to take initiative, firstborn! So I’ve been singing “Jogging all the time, jogging all the time, jogging all the tiiiime,” to the tune of Eddie Murphy’s “Party All The Time,” because you know what? My husband actually likes that song which is surprising because it isn’t classic rock and there is no quadraphonic sound. Wait. Is there? I haven’t listened to it all the way through and don’t try to convince me that the bridge is awe-inspiring because this is Eddie Murphy, creator of NORBIT. I actually don’t know the lyrics to many songs, but that does not stop me from singing them and providing my own words, which Mike often corrects with, “It’s not ‘who can pee now.’ It’s ‘who can it be now.'”

Speaking of music, at the red-light the other day, a white car pulled up next to me with its bass beating against the rolled-up quaking windows. So what did I do? Turned up the Shins, shot a look back like, “OH YEAH THAT’S THE GARDEN STATE SOUNDTRACK. BOO-YAH!”

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  1. I whipped out the jogging stroller the other day, but I somehow forgot that the AD/stroller combo now weighs in the neighborhood of 40 lbs. I felt like I was doing that Flinstones run just to get 2 feet.

  2. Just paint the jogging stroller purple and he won’t be able to make you get rid of it THEN!

  3. hello insomnia says:

    Tessie: I do the Flintstones run all the time. I don’t need a stroller for that.

    Mayberry: It is purple so maybe if I add more gold and a big W, he’ll love it.

  4. I love misheard song lyrics! I had to correct my husband that it’s not “She knows just how to make a crow blush” in Bette Davis Eyes. (It’s “She knows just how to make a pro blush”.)

    “who can pee now” – heehee!

  5. Butrfly4404 says:

    Singing songs wrong is fun. I know the Manfred Mann song goes “Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce another runner in the night.” But that is not NEARLY as fun to sing as “wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the night.”

  6. hello insomnia says:

    Shelly: Sadly, that’s what I thought the line was.

    Amy: That is how I am going to sing that line from here on out.

  7. After a really shite day, the “who can pee now” observation made me want to pee myself. You never fail to cheer me after a crappy day in paradise.

    And I always thought it was “there’s a bathroom on the right” as opposed to “there’s a bad moon on the rise”… just fyi.

  8. At least he’s not singing to Eddie Murphy’s song “Boogie in Your Butt.” That’s one where you think you’re mishearing the lyrics, but you’re not.

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