babby daddies and serial kilers

I told Mike last night, “I would like to have another baby. But it doesn’t have to be with you.”

He replied, “You know, this is the third time you’ve told me this.”

When we do start planning for baby number 2, I think paternity should be included in the preliminary talks. I always hear tame questions like, “Do you think it’ll be a girl,” when the real pressing issue is, “Do you think Clive Owen will make a good father for Nathan’s half-brother or half-sister?”

bedtime...for him...

Do you remember that episode of Friends in which Ross taught Chandler the “hug and roll”? That’s what I try to do when I put Nathan to sleep (because if it worked on TV, it totally translates into real situations!) but the moment I shift, I startle the kid awake and suddenly, he’s babbling and full of questions like, “Hey Mom, if a Silverback gorilla and a tiger were to fight to the death, who would win? Yeah, that’s what I thought. The Silverback.” And the kid won’t sleep unless he gets an answer to, “If Boutros Boutros-Ghali were to become a wrestler, would his name be Boutros Boutros The Undertaker Ghali?”

And you all have been watching Dexter? Thanks to Linda, I am now hooked! And here I thought that heroin was addictive. I prefer the Michael C. Hall, the serial killer to Michael C. Hall, the whining victim on Six Feet Under. Need a visual? Here it is: serial killer > whining victim.

If you love Dexter as much as I do, you’ll like this short video.

And if you’ve never watched Dexter, you must be thinking that I have a very sick hierarchical order, but dude, he would not stop crying about being carjacked and held at gunpoint for hours. I spent the last two seasons of Six Feet Under thinking, “Cry me a river and jump into it, David Fisher.” Anyone with me on that?

And can I just say thank you to everyone who participated in yesterday’s Great Mofo Delurk 2007? Handjobs Ice cream for everyone!

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  1. This morning at 5:30, as I was trying to get him back to sleep, my son piped up with “What do pirates say?”


  2. This is probably the greatest post I’ve read all day.

    I think Clive Owen would make an EXCELLENT father for Nathan’s half-sibling.

  3. Type (little) a says:

    Clive Owen is MINE. (Although I did see a paparazzi pic of George Clooney carrying a sex ramp)

    I thought I couldn’t love David Fisher any more (although it was Nate and Keith I was hot for), but man oh man do I love him in Dexter.

    And will he just kill Deb already? Hate. Her.

  4. hello insomnia says:

    mayberry: I have to remember that.

    audrey: thanks, I’m going to forward that comment to my husband who adamantly thinks otherwise.

    type (little) a: I saw the sex ramp, too! But I didn’t know it was a sex ramp. I thought maybe he’s having acid reflux issues. And Deb should totally GET it. She’s so frustrating!

  5. If you get Clive Owen, I get George Clooney. I think this would make an excellent trend among mothers. And those hard working movie stars can make a little extra cash on the side!

  6. This post was so RICH with GOOD STUFF!

    I get John C. McGinley. I know I keep calling dibs on him, but I just want it CLEAR TO EVERYONE that he is MINE.

    Oh, I KNOW! I would probably want to whine and cry about being abducted and nearly killed, too, but I wouldn’t do it for HOURS AND HOURS OF TV TIME. I got so TIRED of him.

    Love the visual.

    I got pretty tired of Nate being that combination of righteously indignant and totally idiotic. He was better as Casey on Sports Night.

  7. I do the hug and roll for my neice and nephew as well. But in s u p e r s l o w m o t i o n.

  8. Swistle – John C. McGinley????? Really? That is too funny.

    “I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there, Bob.”

  9. Butrfly Garden says:

    Mayberry – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    I are a loser. I have no Showtime. I have no cable at all.

    But I will watch the video when I get home because I love your sense of humor.

    And? You got WAY more people to delurk than I did. That makes me think even more that they are spies/stalkers. Hmmm. šŸ˜€

  10. I love me some Dexter.

  11. I love Clive and George, too but I have to put a vote in for Josh Holloway.

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