no apparent sorrow

Last year, I opted for the Mirena IUD instead of the copper version after hearing so many stories about copper wire theft. It’s desperate times, people! I also cancelled my appointment to remove the IUD because Mike and I have decided not to have another child.

This was not a decision we came to lightly. We have see-sawed the options of when to have a child and if to have another child. Immediately after Nathan’s birth came the question of when to have baby number two, without any thought if this would be the best choice for us.

It is a strange response to have, that no, we won’t be having another baby and we’re okay with that. I’m prepared for the frowns from those who disagree, those who will push us even though they will not be caring or paying for hypothetical baby.

We want to provide the best life for the child we have. Nathan is a spectacular boy and when I say, “Nathan, sit down,” he will sit! On command! Take that, nonresponsive cats! When I stretch out my hands, he charges toward me until his laughing mouth is drooling on my chest. If I am sitting on the floor, he will shimmy backwards until he plops into my lap. These moments remind me that if this is all I’ll have, I am fine.

My life is good the way it is.

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  1. Do you feel relieved to have decided? It feels a little…stressy to not know for sure.

    That copper wire thing was hilarious.

  2. And he is adorable.

    And I am jealous since we are still in limbo.

    And don’t listen to anyone’s crap.

  3. bananafana says:

    we felt the same way for a long time but obviously changed our minds. I totally understand though – life is really great with the one we have now and it took us a really long time to decide that we wanted to change that. Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking but I’m excited all the same

  4. hello insomnia says:

    tessie: I feel at peace with our decision.

    crystal: thanks.

    bananafana: this choice is what works for us.

  5. Butrfly Garden says:

    It bothers me when anyone tries to take someone else’s child-bearing personally. If someone wants no kids, why is that reason to frown on them? Why try to shame someone into procreating? What kind of life would THAT be? And the same goes for anyone who’s happy with the number they have or anyone who’s too scared to try again.

    We know what’s right for us. We all do. It’s nobody else’s business.

    (Although, oddly enough, JUST THIS MORNING, I was wondering if you were ever going to have another because I miss the “I can’t take this disguise off myself” phase with Nathan. hahahahahaaha. I know. I think about strange stuff. I have a long commute.)

    You know what would be a good line to provoke the REALLY nasty “You Selfish Bitch” looks? “Well, I look pretty hot after one and I can’t guarantee THAT will happen again!”

  6. So glad you came to a decision. Figuring it out is the hard part. I feel relieved to have finalized our having another this past weekend, HOOYA! FOR THE BIG V!

    It’s nice to be in a good spot and moving forward.

  7. Chickenbells says:

    Congratulations for making what is an extremely hard decision…I’m still waiting to have a little one myself, and would love to squeeze 2 in if at all possible…but, like you…I will wait to see what is right for us…

  8. I’m not sure you could top Nathan, anyway šŸ˜‰

  9. anne at says:

    *dies laughing at IUD thing, cringes at next guy walking by with a slim jim*

    And Gosh, your decision about family planning is so much more heartfelt and warm than the cheerleaders at Mommy & Me, who rah-rah,
    “one and we’re done!”
    “two and we’re through!”
    “Three and we’re free!”

    They gave me a wedgie and pranked my phone Friday night when I couldn’t chose a birth control plan based on a chanting rhyme.

  10. How was getting the Mirena? I’m supposed to get mine Friday.

    Nathan is too cute šŸ™‚

  11. I feel like that decision wasn’t completely my own – because the one child was conceived with difficulty and born when I was 42 – BUT I’m happy about it. It makes many things easier.

  12. I get crushes on people who say, “This is our decision. Bite us if you don’t like it.” When people make a lot of excuses for their decision, I think that’s when other people get argumentative. “This is the decision that’s best for our family” is truer and also offers fewer footholds.

    *moony eyes in your direction*

  13. We are living parallel lives.

    I’m on the mirena, Hailey will be an only child and your comment at the bloggess was so funny I selected you as comment of the day.

    Yeehaw, mama.

  14. I think it’s awesome that you’ve decided, together, and you’re in agreement.

  15. Every family is different. I think it’s great that you know what is right for your family. Your baby is precious, by the way.

  16. Good for you for making a decision and not caring what anyone thinks. After our third, I wanted one more, but two miscarriages later, I told my husband, “You know, this is fine. Let’s be done.” Two days later my boobs started hurting like nobody’s business. Knocked up again. She’s a year old now, and this time we really are done. Really. I no longer allow my husband in the same zip code as me when I’m ovulating. šŸ˜‰

  17. I think that’s great! Congrats on your decision!

  18. i think it’s awesome that you were able to make that decision! and you’re right, unless they’re paying, people should just keep their mouths shut!

    oh, and i laughed so hard at the copper wire comment!

  19. You crack me up! With the copper wire reasoning, that is!

    I wish people weren’t so judgemental about other people’s families – you know what is right for you, and only you!

    And those photos – I don’t think there is room for any more cuteness!!!

  20. The Daring One says:

    Oh what a cute boy. We go back and forth all the time about baby number 3. We change our minds back and forth all the time. I kind of envy your decision-making skills.

  21. Moore Family says:

    We made the same decision before our daughter was born, and 27 months later still feel the same way. We are starting to get the questions and wierd looks now that it is apparently time we start trying for #2. What is so wrong with deciding to raise one child? I am glad I am not alone out there!

  22. Mrs. Blogoway says:

    Good for you.

    One Child Families Unite!

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