Okay, I’ve ragged on Fergie before, but “Big Girls Don’t Cry” makes me a die a little. “I’m going to miss you like a child misses their blanket,” she sings. Are you too glamorous for correct pronoun-antecedent agreement? And how is it that a song as blatantly offensive to the English language as “The Way I Are” infiltrates the airwaves and I am subsequently subjected to it the minute I scan the radio stations. I know this is an offense committed by many artists, but Timbaland, let’s go back in time, stick some vocabulary flash cards in the spokes of your Huffy bike and we’ll try this again.
I’m just glad that Gwen Stefani spelled fruit correctly, if not the song title, in “Hollaback Girl,” or I’d have to call her out, because Gwen, that shit’s not bananus.