Um, Rihanna? "Ella" is not a word.

Okay, I’ve ragged on Fergie before, but “Big Girls Don’t Cry” makes me a die a little. “I’m going to miss you like a child misses their blanket,” she sings. Are you too glamorous for correct pronoun-antecedent agreement? And how is it that a song as blatantly offensive to the English language as “The Way I Are” infiltrates the airwaves and I am subsequently subjected to it the minute I scan the radio stations. I know this is an offense committed by many artists, but Timbaland, let’s go back in time, stick some vocabulary flash cards in the spokes of your Huffy bike and we’ll try this again.

I’m just glad that Gwen Stefani spelled fruit correctly, if not the song title, in “Hollaback Girl,” or I’d have to call her out, because Gwen, that shit’s not bananus.

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  1. I feel you.

    When Missy Elliot rapped about wanting to “get my hair did” it made me shudder.

  2. Oh man, “misses their blanket”?

    What happened to interesting and thought provoking music? Back when we walked to school uphill both ways in the snow.

  3. thecandyqueen says:

    I EFFING hate all those songs! Holy damn, “umbrella” takes a close second to worst song ever behind that Fergie song. Gawwwwwwwwd! You got me all wound up so now I have to say that in the song “Glamorous,” she says something about “sitting here reminiscing about the time when I had a mustang.” I ALWAYS think she’s gonna say “mustache” instead of “mustang.” It would be a hell of a lot cooler if she did!

  4. mrs. blogoway says:

    My ten year old daughter was singing along to this song that goes, “in the bed like”. I was horrified!

  5. Thank you. I can relate, as I’m STILL wondering why on earth Sophie B. Hawkins couldn’t just sing “Damn, I wish I WERE your lover” instead of wrongly singing “Was.” Grr.

  6. Bad grammar drives me nuts! (But please ignore it if it occurs in my blog posts or comments. Thank you.) And the child missing his blanket lyric was already stupid.

  7. hello insomnia says:

    JMC: I’m glad you brought up blog grammar. I don’t care to point out people’s mistakes, because, hello pot, kettle, black.

  8. Butrfly Garden says:

    I let a lot of grammar stuff go when it comes to songs because I can’t write a song for the life of me and maybe sometimes bad grammar fits better than good grammar. Or they get off the hook because the music is good enough that they lyrics don’t matter much. (Like that Timbaland song). But there are some that just drive me nuts. That Sophie B. Hawkins song was one of them!

    That said, I hate Fergie’s music. All of it.

    And yeah…blogging and stuff. I let it slide on the surface so people don’t call me out when I do something wrong, but deep down I’m thinking “Gawd! Use your spellchecker!!!”

  9. The Daring One says:

    “Are you too glamorous for correct pronoun-antecedent agreement?”

    This I love!

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