We are the world

i caught some boys

This weekend we purchased a family membership to the Seattle Children’s Museum because the last few times we’ve been there, Nathan has gone Pat O’Brien crazy, only without the drugs or prostitutes. (That’s what college is for!)

We bought the membership because not only does Nathan whole-heartedly love the place, but it offers us a warm, dry haven when the parks have turned dark and cold.

Nathan particularly loves Discovery Bay, the section for children under 3, where he can Godzilla his way through immobile babies. I always apologize, though I would be frustrated with six-month-olds stationed where there should be movement.

But each time we make our rounds through the different rooms, I roll my eyes at the overgeneralizing of cultures. Seriously. I know this is a children’s museum and not a call for post-doc papers, but I have a feeling that most of the money was blown on set design and not cultural accuracy. The conversation might have gone like this:

Children’s Museum Employee 1: Oh no, how can we properly detail different countries of the world on sixty bucks! Why did you have to throw a Children’s Museum Employee Recognition Dance-Off?!?

Children’s Museum Employee 2: Shut up! You loved Dance Dance Revolution and you know it! Besides, we only have to talk about the most general, antiquated features and that’s it! No one will ever know.

Children’s Museum Employee 1: Except Mona. She will see right through our Yap money display.

sorry yap

Poor Yap. No mention of the country’s current updated use of AMERICAN DOLLARS, but instead an illusion that these Pacific Islanders prefer huge boulders of rock to foldable pieces of paper, because…rock beats paper? What? Yap is full of second-graders? I’m sure the researchers at the Children’s Museum would have done more investigative work, but they heard that Yapese people have cooties.

And what about the African exhibit? Children, did you know that all Africans are all about their hair! Yes, it’s true! There was also a civil war over a coke bottle that fell from the sky! Also true!

Hello Simba, may I interest you in the Mafia Cut?

Or how about the Boeing 707? What’s that you say? That plane is only flown in Iran and Argentina? In that case, would sir be interested in our African special? The Kid-n-Play?

But I love you Children’s Museum, even though you go on assuming these things about cultures. And you know what assuming does. It makes an ass out of you and Ming. Poor Ming. Poor Chinese guy.

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  1. Type (little) a says:

    OK, if loving Kid n Play is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

    Also, I think I might like Yap money. Then I could literally drive my money around, and I wouldn’t have to worry about my jacked-up car.

  2. Yeah, well, every children’s activity has it’s drawbacks. I’m sure the Children’s Museums lack of booze and hookers is unintentional.

  3. That hair thing is just…weird. THE MAFIA CUT? Where is the cut with the initials in it?

  4. Butrfly Garden says:

    I saw those in your flickr and wondered wth was up with them. I love the “ladies’ cut.” Like, how there is only one.

    I love the thought of Nathan being Godzilla around all the nonwalkers.

    I once lived with a Ming. She was a total ass. (And a cat, but still a total ass.)

  5. Currier Quinn Balent says:

    I’m not sure how I came across your blog, but you crack me up! Thanks for making me laugh out loud! Seriously!

  6. yap money. that’s GREAT.

  7. Chickenbells says:

    And where are the gold chains and the car hood ornaments used as jewelry…where are the shark tanks in the garage?!?!?!

    It does sound wonderful however, we don’t have a museum here…unless you count the wild westish one…and there are no good haircuts there…just styles of jeans and hats…

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