another post that is not very funny

Whenever I endure a stretch of crazy days, I wish I could be like Evie on that show, Out of This World. I have always believed that the power to stop time is the most efficient superpower to have, far more useful than x-ray vision and worlds better than flying. I would never want the ability to fly. For one, I don’t think a high altitude would make me seem skinnier. Also, I don’t want my gigundo body blocking out the sun. Nothing ruins a day more than causing a solar eclipse because you’ve been eating bacon all week.

When I was 13, my oldest sister grabbed my hair and sawed off a thick, jagged ponytail. My mother was off-island and so she decided to punish me because I had sneaked out of my house the night before to hang out with my boyfriend and his friends, sipping beer and acting so cool. A 13-year-old misbehaving? How unique! What a shining post-pubescent diamond! Though I have long since overcome the hatred harbored toward her for wrecking my looks and transforming my soft locks into a boycut/fro (a bro-fro!), I have never been comfortable with anything shorter than a shoulder length cut.

But if I told you my hair actually looks like this, would you advise me to just cut off all my hair and start over?

kim's baby shower

I took this photo a few weeks ago at my very pregnant friend Kim’s baby shower. The game was to feed a partner baby food while both of you were blindfolded. And you know what? No one thought my Abu Ghraib references were very funny.

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Comments

  1. So that show WASN’T a figment of my imagination!! Years ago I saw Evie’s boyfriend on some soap opera, and I tried to tell people he was from a show with a girl named Evie (but I couldn’t remember the name of the show), and NO ONE BELIEVED ME. Now I am VINDICATED!!!!

  2. No one believed me either! And yes, Evie’s boyfriend did become a soap opera star! Yay for us and our sanity!

  3. I love that show!! It should be out on dvd. I wonder if it is!!

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