hear me out

Mike and I have decided to cancel Nathan’s speech therapy appointment.

I’m relieved.

Ever since we made the appointment seventeen million months ago, Mike and I have been asking ourselves, “Does he really need this? Will this help?” His pediatrician had instilled fear that something was not right with our child. I believed him. I worried because of what he said. I let him make me think that my child needed immediate intervention or else his weak skills would doom him to a life of communicating only with people playing World of Warcraft, specifically, a lvl 41 dark elf dancing without her armor or people who say, “I am really a female but I am playing this male wizard for my younger brother.”

Before we could even get an appointment for speech therapy, we had to get a referral to an audiologist. And the test proved what I knew all along: Nathan could hear. At the appointment, the woman said something that has slowly began to bug me. As she was giving her diagnosis, I noted that he always responded to his name and that, “He’s probably just learning at his own pace.” To which she flashed me the Debbie Downer face and said, “Yeah… or he’s just responding to sounds that he hears frequently.”

And since I’ve been replaying this memory, I am filled with what I should have said: “WHY WON’T YOU GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR KNOWING HIS OWN NAME, YOU HO-BAG HOTEL WITH FREE HB-HO AND HO-TIME!”

Mike and I are the only people who will stand up for our son, who will defend him and love him and stand in his corner when doctors are frowning that he doesn’t meet their checklists.

As his mother and caregiver who has intensely watched this baby turn into a babbling, curious, bubbly boy, I believe that my son will speak when he’s ready.

In the meantime, we will read to him, talk to him, and treat him like he’s a normal, high-functioning toddler who sometimes is so worn out, he can’t make it half-way through a book about counting kisses.

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Comments

  1. Butrfly Garden says:

    I definitely think that you would have more regrets if you raised your son based on what you were told to do by others than you would because you followed your instinct. πŸ˜‰

  2. Type (little) a says:

    We decided against a speech eval for our daughter. She just needed some extra time.

    Or maybe I fucked her up.

    Probably both.

    But good for you and Mike for not only knowing what’s best for him, but for standing up to the “medical industrial complex”

  3. WE.DID.THE.EXACT.SAME.THING! Seriously, we went around and around and said screw it. Owen talks like a champ now (god, make it stop)

  4. jadeejf says:

    I’m so glad you’re using your own knowledge about your son to assist in making these decisions. Good for you for being in his corner πŸ™‚

  5. I probably read this somewhere here before, but how old is Nathan? I see in your sidebar that he was born in 2006. My most recent daughter was born in 2006, and the only words she says are “eye” and “pup.” She will be 18 months old in a couple weeks.

    My second oldest didn’t speak until she was almost 2. I remember asking her pediatrician at her 18 month checkup if there was a problem. The pediatrician said that it was nothing to worry about unless she still didn’t say ANYTHING AT ALL at age 2. She barely made the cutoff.

  6. good for you! i’ve actually been doing a little research on this because my cousin’s little girl will be 2 in may and she hardly says anything. i found that the longer a child nurses or uses the paci, the longer it takes them to talk. not a bad thing, just common factor.

    i think it’s great that you are following your gut. he will be fine! he really is just going at his own pace. he’ll probably start speaking 5 different languages fluently when he turns 3.

  7. Mamacita Chilena says:

    No worries! my dad didn’t say a word until he was three and then he started speaking in full sentences with a full vocab and everything. I actually think some kids like not speaking and taht they do it just to torture their parents.

  8. kissieface says:

    kudos too you….

  9. thordora says:

    I’ve told you before-I had the same fears with mine-turns out she’s just a normal kid who took a little longer to yap my ear off.

    Glad you’re following your gut.

  10. Mayberry says:

    Sometimes there are just sooooo many kisses, you get exhausted.

    No one knows kids better than their parents — I am sure that boy will have lots to say someday soon.

  11. 1. Really cute picture
    2. Right on! Screw the snotty doctor – my nephew is the exact same why and (thankfully) no one has said anything to my brother.

  12. Don’t worry ,He just preparing to launch his gazilion trilion “Why….and What this and whats that
    question to you ,so be ready

  13. Marianas Pride says:

    Mona, first of all, beautiful pic! Nathan is adorable! I know you and believe your personal and parental instinct is one of God’s greatest gifts. I believe you made the right decision (as usual). πŸ˜‰

    Seattle ROCKS! Loving it here! Looking forward to our get together.

  14. The Saipan Blogger をンジェロ・ビラゴパズ says:

    Never mind the language…what did you do to his hair?

  15. Pickles & Dimes says:

    If there’s anyone who knows how well Nathan’s progressing, it’s you and Mike. If you truly felt in your gut that he wasn’t developing appropriately, you wouldn’t have had these doubts. Trust yourself! πŸ™‚

  16. mrs. blogoway says:

    I’m a little suspicious myself about doctors/dentistst that make money when they “find” problems.

    Maddie went to the dentist this year and they said that she needs an expander (to enlarge the roof of her mouth). And they want to put braces on her (at age 10). I think this idea is ridiculous because obviously her mouth is still “expanding” on it’s own as she grows. Good for you for giving him time to mature at his own speed.

  17. FunnyGal KAT says:

    Bravo for your decision. But this? “WHY WON’T YOU GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR KNOWING HIS OWN NAME, YOU HO-BAG HOTEL WITH FREE HB-HO AND HO-TIME!”
    This is classic! I’m choking on my buffalo chicken wrap from laughing so hard. I need to remember not to try to eat and read your blog at the same time.

  18. Homie knows what’s up and that nurse needs to know not to playa hate and simply learn to congratulate.

    Good for you for listening to your “inside voice.”

  19. I think that’s great! You sound like a wonderful mother, Mona.

  20. Chickenbells says:

    Good work…I am so glad you two are able to trust your own feelings. No one is going to know this boy better right now than you! I would think, if he still likes to be talked to and read to, he totally understands what’s going on in his world.

  21. Sandy C. says:

    Ugh, I can’t believe the audiologist. What a terrible thing to say. I also think you made the right decision. All of the charts and milestones are enough to give any parent a complex about their child. You and Mike ultimately know Nathan better than anyone.

  22. The Saipan Blogger をンジェロ・ビラゴパズ says:

    Trust your feelings? Use the force?

    Social outcast with that haircut you will make him.

  23. Anonymous says:

    someday, when he is a pouty teenager you will sigh & think longly of the days he didn’t speak πŸ˜‰

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