These past two weeks have thoroughly kicked my 25-year-old ass.
When I’m 45 I’ll read that last line and travel back in time and re-kick my 25-year-old ass for spending more time nurturing my career and raising a child than being in a bar nursing a double crown and coke and my current self will plead with my future self that it would be impossible to take Nathan to a bar because he’s only a toddler! And Future Mona would say, “Whatever! Take him with!” Because in twenty years, I will still be talking like a teenager and encouraging inappropriate parental behavior.
Last week I drove almost 400 miles total just to secure trees for a weekend tree planting. I had traveled 60 miles before I realized that the old SUV I was driving gave me the option to change the radio station and I wasn’t forced to listen to listen to tired r&b. Though after four repeats of that song about apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur (WITH THE FURRRR!), I thought of my old fruity-jeans that were so tight it looked like my ass was eating them. Seriously. They were Guess jeans and if you have the same sixth-grade sense of humor as I do, you would yell, “Guess? I guess ‘OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!‘”
And I’m sure that’s what long-distance truckers all over the country think as they log thousands of miles: tight pants they have given up or that snakeskin number they thought was cool at the time because Salma Hayek wore it in Traffic or how they bought a ton of J. Lo velour tracksuits and still wear them sometimes as pajamas because they are so comfortable even though you are wearing the soft interior of a 1987 GMC Starcraft Conversion Van.
So tell me something cool you did this weekend and while you are trying to whittle down your list of awesomeness, I’ll direct you to The Full Mommy’s Earth Day Giveaways. There’s still time to get green up in here, up in here.