I just read Tessie’s post about my catholic school bully of yore and suddenly a flash of previously googled People Of Mona’s Past or POMP hit me and now I cannot function unless it is all spewed into list form.
As of my last google-fu search, I know:
-One ex-boyfriend gained a huge amount of weight, which is ironic because he made fun of my junk in the trunk while we dated and touted his extreme devotion to fitness and martial arts. I guess he lost the snack attack! OH SNAP!
-One ex-boyfriend works at a software company. BORING!
-One debate rival became a very successful headhunter.
-One ex-boyfriend is a genetic scientist studying the DNA of alcoholics.
-One former co-worker ran for a political position and lost in a very humiliating way.
-My first grade boyfriend (I was in 1st grade, he was in SIXTH–my older men preference started young. We were even called 7-11 because I was seven and he was 11! How’s that for sugar-coating creepy puppy love?) grew up and got jailed for aggravated assault and for ramming into a cop car! I sure know how to pick ’em!
Still missing: Ashley, my bff with whom I haven’t spoken to since I moved from Salem, Oregon back to Saipan. In the last letter letter I received, she said she had a gerbil named Maverick (she was a huge Top Gun fan). I can safely bet that the gerbil’s dead now, unless they live for like 16+ years.