Happy Birthday Nathan!

Put the baby down and no one gets hurt

Two days old.

Two years old.

Two years ago my son Nathan was born.

One day I was walking home from the bus stop. I was worried about Nathan’s speech and I was going over in my mind whether speech therapy was the right choice. I noticed Mike’s car pull up in front of our house, having just picked up Nathan from daycare. He was about half a block away from me and about to parallel park when he stopped. When I reached the car, Nathan was beaming at me.

And then Mike told me what had just happened.

He was about to park when Nathan pointed towards the approaching figure and squealed, “Mama!”

And I wish I could have framed that scene for the next checkup so I could say, “See? This is what I want. This is more than enough for me.”

I have this vague memory from science class about the area between ocean and shore called the interstitial zone. Sea plants who cling onto rock have to endure extreme variables of low and high tides. They have to live through waves constantly crashing over them. This is how I feel about being Nathan’s mother. I live in the interstitial zone–a place where I feel like I’m sometimes drowning under the grueling water loaded with doctors and their cold checklists or other judgmental mothers or a workload that keeps me in the office and sometimes I’m exposed and gasping and needing more and more of this magical boy.

And in the moments when I pretend I’m asleep and my son comes over and kisses me repeatedly or he runs so fast with he plows into me or when he can recognize his own mother from the end of the street, my heart balloons in my chest and it presses against my ribs so tightly that I don’t know if I’m going to suffocate under the aching power of being this beautiful child’s mother but I welcome it all in as I have for these past two years.

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Comments

  1. Type (little) a says:

    Happy Birthday Nathan. πŸ™‚

    I think the interstitial zone is a PERFECT analogy.

  2. willikat says:

    agh, that just made me ache. what a beautiful entry. i learn so much about mommyhood through my mom-bloggers. it’s SO helpful. it’s real mommyhood, not tv mommyhood, and i love that.

  3. Tessie says:

    Happy Birthday Nathan!

    His little face looks exactly the same in the newborn picture. So funny.

  4. He is too adorable! I think I’ve said that about him before, but it bears repeating. Happy birthday, Nathan!

  5. Sizzle says:

    Happy Birthday Nathan!

    It’s post like these that make my ovaries cry. Shhh! Ovaries! Don’t listen.

    πŸ™‚

  6. Ashley says:

    Happy Birthday little man! May your day be filled with pony rides, ice cream sundaes, kisses, hugs, spaghetti, new toys, and a park!

  7. Happy Birthday, Nathan!!

    Mona, I missed it! I wasn’t first. πŸ™ I tried, but our power was out during my lunch break. So no daytime blogging for me.

    Nathan truly is a wonderful boy. I’m so glad that you and Mike have been blessed with him. But also, Nathan is certainly blessed to have you as his mother.

    Love you guys!

    (am I being too mushy?)

  8. grrltraveler says:

    Happy birthday Nathan!

    There is NOTHING better than to hear that MAMA. πŸ™‚

    hugs,
    anne

  9. Shelly says:

    Happy Birthday, Little! He is so so cute!

  10. happy birthday precious boy!

    i’ll be posting a birthday post for a 2 year old today too!

  11. Mayberry says:

    What’s with making us cry, like every day this week? HUH?

    Happy birthday Nathan!

  12. skiplovey says:

    Happy Birthday Nathan! On to a great new year.

    That’s one cute guy there! Seems like things are working themselves out, just keep giving it the time it needs.

  13. thecandyqueen says:

    Happy Birthday Nathan!

  14. Banana says:

    Happy Birthday Nathan!

  15. Pickles & Dimes says:

    He is SUCH a cutie!

    I hope you’re pasting this entry into his baby book. It’s perfect.

  16. Aw, happy birthday big boy!

  17. annenahm says:

    Happy Birthday, big guy!

  18. Angella says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET NATHAN!!

  19. Happy Birthday Nathan!!! πŸ™‚

    Lots of hugs and kisses from Aunty Donna πŸ˜› lol

  20. mrs. blogoway says:

    Favorite post ever.

  21. audrey says:

    So, I just read Nathan’s birth story for the first time. And … well. I laughed. I almost cried. My shriveled, cynical little heart warmed up a bit.

    Then I came back and read the rest of this post, along with your perfect metaphor. And I almost cried some more. And my heart warmed some more and a little voice that has been silent for months piped up in the back of my head and said “See? You’re not as far as you think from wanting to have kids of your own.”

    Happy birthday, Nathan! (Sorry I’m a day late!)

  22. i’m a day late! πŸ™ happy birthday nathan! aunty carol loooveessss youuu! haha

    yep, this is totally my favorite post. talk soon mona!

  23. odawni says:

    You know your mom rocks when she gets you a volcano cake two years in a row.

    It has been amazing watching you embrace your motherhood. You are by far one of the coolest mommies around.

    Happy day-after Birthday Nathan,
    and happy two-days-before Mother’s Day Mona. πŸ™‚

  24. happy birthday handsome boy!

  25. The Saipan Blogger をンジェロ・ビラゴパズ says:

    I can’t wait to read your post when he turns 13.

    πŸ™‚

  26. stfu? nfw. says:

    Beautiful post.

    Happy Birthday, Nathan!

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