homes, head and Hey Mona!

This time last year, we were moving into our brand new home and ending an exhausting search for our place of our own. I still scour through Craigslist and realtor websites for prices because real estate is like gossip, only real and not scrawled on the junior high bathroom wall with taunts like, “Mona gives great head.” Get the facts straight, my pre-teen female foes. I give phenomenal head. That’s what happens when you have a no-gag reflex. It’s like a gift that keeps on giving. Giving head!

I am really grateful that we bought when we did because shortly after we moved in, the real estate market went psycho and the loan we were graced with would have been promptly yanked out of street urchin hands and we would have had to live yet another year in the shanty town apartment where the woman below hated that we sang to our son and even dared to move. Way to kill our Dance Dance Revolution dreams neighborino!

We have traded in guaranteed parking stalls for awkward parallel parking maneuvers in front of neighbors who watch as I make a seventeen-point turn. We also lost the cool Bosnian maintenance man who always bellowed, “Rahhhmonaaa! How’s going?” But we hired him as our maintenance man when one heater went out and my husband WHO HAS A MASTER’S DEGREE did not know what to do and again when yours truly who has a paltry bachelor’s degree but pwned this game (which temporarily resizes your browser window FYI) turned off the gas for the fireplace and insisted that everyone in the house wear a sweater instead. Jimmy Carter was onto something, people!

So to celebrate my one year as owner of one home and one fat mortgage, (not to be confused with a phat mortgage. This mortgage actually has a weight problem. But it’s my fault. I spoon feed it crispy chicken tenderloins smothered in honey mustard sauce and then we work it off by passing the remote control to each other during Intervention commercial breaks) please join in by leaving a question in the comments for next week’s round of Hey Mona!

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  1. Mayberry says:

    Hey Mona, I just saw a raccoon the size of a St. Bernard in the park across the street from my house. Should I be afraid to sleep tonight?

  2. Happy 1 year home ownership!

    “Hey Mona” why did anyone ever think brass and glass look good together?

  3. The Saipan Blogger アンジェロ・ビラゴメズ says:

    Hey Mona!

    Is it true that you are running for non-voting delegate along with half the island? Will you still blog from Washington DC?

  4. Swistle says:

    Hey Mona! What is my cat’s DEAL? He is all meowing up in my face, and I am like, “STEP OFF, CAT!” and he’s all “MEOWING LOUDER!”

  5. dukedivgirl says:

    Hey Mona,
    How do the residents of Saipan feel about their neighbors in the bazillion other tiny islands in the South Pacific? Do they all have different reputations, like southern American towns? Or is it like college – is there like, a party island or an Ivy League snob island or a suitcase island?

  6. Happy Housiversary. We had ours at the beginning of May. Twinsies!

    Hey Mona!

    My boss has been driving me crazy. How do you deal with annoying colleagues?

  7. FunnyGal KAT says:

    Hey Mona! I need to sell my house (as fast as possible, please) and am wondering if you have any tips for me? If you do and I use them and I sell my house, I will totally meet up with you for a Dance Dance Revolution par-tay!

  8. hey mona! who is your favorite author?

  9. Hi Mona! Congrats on one year of owning a home. 🙂 We are heading down the same path right now in regards to finding a home. Anything to watch out for?

    Also, how do you like your camera? We are looking for one that can keep up with a 2 year old and since your photos are AWESOME, care to share?

  10. thecandyqueen says:

    Hey Mona-

    What’s the best brand of pregnancy tests? Is it that new digital reader one?

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