in which Charlize Theron totally messes with me

Whenever I wake up from a super LSD-trippy dream, I shake my husband awake so he can analyze it. He’s my real life dream book (very different from dream boat, which is saved for my pretend boyfriend man-hybrid: Colin Firth-Bardem-Owen.) Do you have one of those? An encyclopedia of cataloged references that supposedly give, in my case, a reason why Charlize Theron drove a bus containing a my camera bag, purse, wallet and Xbox (not mine!) and then crashed it into the sea, leaving me yelling at her because I would have to cancel my debit card (second time this week!).

The thing is, whenever I relay my dreams to Mike, it’s never as lucid (or as interesting) as when I had them, and they usually include the words, “like,” “like you know,” and “totally” so my poor husband wakes up to many of the following:

“I was back in high school and wearing the school uniform, only I had to debate 15-year-olds. And they kept singing that Peter Gabriel song, the one that I don’t understand so I always sing ‘something something’ whenever I don’t know the lyrics. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?”

“Someone was trying to steal my Nintendo Wii. But remember how you said we couldn’t have any video games in this house because you didn’t want Nathan to play video games and so like, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?”

“It was sooo weird! I don’t remember any of it though. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?”

Do any of you obsess about what your dreams mean? Do you analyze the deeper truths as to why Horatio Caine is hunting you down when really this all means that you shouldn’t watch CSI Miami before bed?

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  1. mrs. blogoway says:

    CSI Miami should never be watched at all, much less at bedtime…

    but about dreams- I’ve always been a big dreamer. My husband says he doesn’t dream at all, which I think is weird. How can people not dream?

  2. Pickles & Dimes says:

    I used to have a dream analysis book, but I don’t know what happened to it.

    Last night I dreamed I had to run 5 miles and I was procrastinating BIG TIME: trying on different headbands, putting on socks, retying my shoes, etc.

    (I’m sure it had nothing to do with the Very Serious Discussion Jason & I had last night about how I never work out anymore because I hate getting up early to exercise.)

  3. Mayberry says:

    I always wonder! The other day I had one that involved introducing some random guy I apparently was dating to a PTA mom from my kid’s school. I was so confused in the dream. Am I married or not?

  4. Shelly says:

    Ooh, you had a dream where you were chased by David Caruso?! That qualifies as a nightmare in my world!

  5. I can not STAND David Caruso. He annoys the hell out of me.

  6. Banana says:

    I often have these annoying half dream/half wake things where I see bugs or people or spiders crawling on the ceiling. It sucks. I used to wake my husband up screaming about it, but I’ve learned to just stop and stare because I know they will go away.

    Is this the first sign that someone is on their way to crazy town?

  7. skiplovey says:

    Yeah I regularly sound like a genius trying to describe last night’s dream to my husband, “and then this thing happened but I don’t really know what and you were there but only for part of it, and so was my old boss who wanted to know where my term paper was…”

    Some friends of ours have this funny dream analysis site where people write in the dreams then other totally unqualified people analyze them. Freud would laugh his head off.

  8. I had a dream about Reese Witherspoon in a vegetable garden once. I was looking out the screen door, watching her pick carrots and cabbage and I kept thinking how cool it was to be her neighbor. What’s up with that?

  9. Melissa says:

    Just last night I woke myself up by laughing in my sleep… I just wish I knew what I was laughing at! I can’t even remember the dream. It was the first time that I ever remember waking myself up by laughing out loud. Strange.

  10. I’m always dreaming that Im a ninja warrior hopping from roof top to roof top trying to escape from a bunch of other ninja’s clad in all black…I have this dream often…I don’t have a dream analysis book, but my own analysis of the dream is that the ninja’s in black chasing after me are my three kids asking for more lunch money….ha ha

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