awesome. not awesome.

I am locked in a huge project for work, so I am taking a break to share recent ongoings with the only filters that matter: awesome or not awesome. I have to mention that this was shamelessly pilfered from former Bryant Park Project host Luke Burbank’s new totally awesome show: Too Beautiful to Live. LISTEN TO IT.

Onward!

Awesome: My husband. He was home early this afternoon so he gave me a call and started off the phone call with this, “Hey you want to hear what’s going on Dr. Phil! It’s in THREE PARTS!”

Also, I made a huge pot of vegan pasta with tomato sauce, basil and ground up boca burgers. It was the first time I had ever made it but it turned out really blah. When my husband came home, I told him about my epic fail pasta and he said, “So you didn’t know how it would turn out for one dinner, so you made enough for twenty?”

Not awesome and then only awesome for Nathan: Nathan climbed onto the couch last night and pulled down a framed Van Gogh reprint that Mike has had for many years. Mike put it on the floor, leaned against the couch as he attempted to hammer the nail back into the wall. Nathan took that opportunity to turn the frame into a Bridge to Couch-abithia and effectively crushed it under his 35 pound body.

I watched horrified as the glass pane cracked and shattered under him. I swooped in and grabbed Nathan. There were glass bits on his hand, but none I could tell had cut him. I rushed him over to the sink and started surveying his skin. There was no blood or cuts or splintered shards. I didn’t know what to do other than turn the water on and rinse off all the glass dust. Nathan started laughing because it was 8 pm and no one told him there was going to be a pool/sink party! Someone call Gidget and Moondoggy! I squeezed him into our sink and let him soak there laughing, clothes and all, while my husband frantically searched and vacuumed away the rest of the glass. Mike was more disappointed than upset, but grateful that our son was unscathed, he said, “It’s okay buddy. It’s Van Gone now.”

Awesome: Sometimes when I’m putting away the laundry and Nathan waddles by, I’ll balance a bra on his head and sing, “WEIRD SCIENCE!” Having a child who can serve as a prop in my twisted amusement will suffice until he’s coordinated enough to walk on mommy’s back.

Awesome? I applied for another job in my department, doing mostly what I do now, only for more money and more responsibility. The interview is next week and I am nervous. I know what I want to say, how to present myself with all the successful projects I have led or contributed to, but still. It’s an audition in front of my co-workers.

My sister works in Human Resources and told me that if they ask me what kind of animal I identify with, I should say an octopus because I multi-task. I answered, “I think I am an octopus because I multi-task and also, I suck.”

I really want this position. I am ready to take a step up in the career I have now so, dear reader, if you could please think good thoughts for me next week, that would be, well, awesome.

What’s awesome or not awesome in your world? Inquiring toddlers want to know.

nathan

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Comments

  1. Jenny, the Bloggess says:

    Awesome = this post.

    Not awesome = the fact that i’ve missed the 4 before it.

  2. Fiona Picklebottom says:

    I have grown to LOATHE Dr. Phil and his sanctimonious bullshit. HOWEVER, I got sucked right in to his show yesterday when I saw the promo and I watched. AND God help me, I’m planning to watch it today, too. I HAVE TO KNOW what happened.

  3. Good luck, Mona! I will be thinking happy thoughts for you.

  4. Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children says:

    Good luck!

    I’m glad nobody was harmed in the Van Gogh incident.

    Also, thanks for the camera lens advice. This is all so overwhelming, so many to choose from.

  5. annenahm says:

    Damn, someone beat me to the “this post? Awesome” comment. And it was Jenny too. She is the roadrunner to my wile e. coyote and acme brand comments.

  6. good luck!!!

    awesome: i exercised my little butt of yesterday for the first time in ages

    not awesome: HOLY SH*T AM NOW SORE.

  7. Fingers and toes crossed for you!

    Awesome: today is my nephew’s birthday (really only awesome for him)

    Not Awesome: I couldn’t sleep last night so today I am very tired.

  8. My husband calls me to tell me about daytime tv, but it is usually Maury Povich.

    Awesome: I learned something in my baby class last night.

    Not awesome: The teacher talked to us like we are all idiots. Aargh.

  9. Mayberry says:

    “Van Gone” is awesome.

    Also awesome: Kid discharged from hospital! (Not awesome: Two weeks of 6 doses of antibiotics a day.)

  10. mrs. blogoway says:

    Awesome: I had the day off and spent all day getting a pedi, shopping TJ Maxx and then going to the pool.

    Not Awesome: On a job interview, saying I like cats… you know, how they spend all day laying around, not really doing anything.

  11. Awesome = reading this fantastic and hilarious blog post.

    Not awesome = forgetting to buy the all important half and half at the grocery store.

    You are SO going to get that job. I just know it. I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way!

  12. Awesome: Your comment, and the fact that it led me here to a delightful new site with bountiful archives in which I can play.

    Not awesome: The fact that I have to work and parent and crap, and so cannot spend every minute on those archives.

    Oh, dichotomy.

  13. kerrianne.org says:

    Good luck! on your interview. I think if anyone asked me what animal I identify with I would say Any Animal That Really Likes Chocolate Cream Pie.

  14. awesome = husband DID get the raise

    not awesome = brother-in-law has arrived to spew his nonsense for 5 days.

  15. Mike’s right. It is an awesome Dr. Phil…is he a serial killer or isn’t he?

  16. Swistle says:

    An interviewer once asked me what kind of FAST FOOD I’d be. To this day, I wish I’d replied, “That’s a stupid question and you know it.”

  17. willikat says:

    comeonnewjobnewjobnewjobnewjobyeah!

  18. not awesome: coughing up loogies
    awesome: 2 more days of this and i wont be sick!

  19. Queen of Shake-Shake says:

    Good luck on that job interview!

  20. Awesome=had birthday party for nine year old last night

    Not awesome= eating myself silly on leftover cupcakes, and doritos.

  21. OMG, that is as funny as when my husband asked me if I’d seen the Oprah episode where . . . blah, blah, blah! I hadn’t (because I don’t watch as much Oprah as he does, obviously).

    Good luck with all the jobbyness! I’ll be crossing everything for you!

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