blogger without a cause

I apologize if you visited this morning and wondered happened to ye olde blog. I forgot to update my billing info after getting a new card which meant that this site was suspended. Oh noes!

I haven’t been suspended from anything since the seventh grade when I skipped school with my best friend, C. It was a fragile time in my pre-teen years when I was still convinced that girls behaved like they did in the Babysitter’s Club, BFFs, braiding each other’s hair, and cheating on the Ouija board. So when my friend C. said that we should just forget about school that day, I was all for it.

Since we were still in our Catholic school uniforms, we visited a classmate to borrow some playing-hooky clothes. We knew she was also skipping school, but she was smart. She stayed home. Not only was this classmate super intelligent in her dodging school abilities, but she was also very small and waifish and the only clothes we could fit of hers were tattered surfing shirts. I wore thin cotton shorts under my skirt so I ended up looking like half-hobo, half-ho, a ho-hobo if you will. Or would it be a hobo-ho, which sounds like a member of the Autobots–Hobo-Ho: more than meets than the eye!

After getting dressed in the backyard, we trekked over to visit C’s drop-out boyfriend and spent the whole day at his house. They locked themselves in the other room making out , while I was in the living room, watching Ricki Lake and reading some lame book on wolves. So instead of being in class and learning about parallelograms, I learned this equation: books about wolves = lame. However, books about werewolves = NEVER LAME.

Even higher on the lame-o-meter than poorly worded science books on our woodland friends was the way C and I were caught. We walked by the school on the way back, just as class let out for the day. One of the girls there, probably Divine, flagged down a teacher and he caught us down the block. We received one-day suspensions and that was the last time we were allowed to hang out with each other.

I don’t know why something like a hosting company reprimand would send me into Nam-like flashbacks about seventh grade (Ace of Base! Ace Ventura! The Macarena!) but I’m curious: what did you pull off in junior high?

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  1. Anne L. says:

    OK, here’s how smart we were. We tried to pull the old “you tell your parents you’re at MY house overnight, and I’ll tell my parents I’m at YOUR house…” blah blah. We had such grandiose plans! We were in 7th-going-into-8th grade summer. Where did we have to go in upstate NY? We went to a field way down the road, ate wild strawberries, and snuck into her parents basement TV room and were asleep on the couch by 1AM. WOO! But we DIDN’T get caught. So, there you have it.

  2. Anne, if you were not caught, you were very smart.

  3. Not junior high, but in high school, my boyfriend and I sneaked out and put a blow-up doll in the bed of a guy’s pick-up truck. It was such a popular prank, it was mentioned in the yearbook. No one ever knew who did it.

  4. Shelly, I will do this at our next family reunion. Who doesn’t like a doll with an O-face?

  5. Fiona Picklebottom says:

    There was so much I got away with, but the only thing I remember getting caught for was on the next to the last day of the 7th grade. I was sitting on the edge of the basketball blacktop when a kid came up behind me and grabbed my shoulders, digging his fingers into my collarbone, which HURT. This followed (loudly):

    Me: ASSHOLE!

    Him: I’d rather be an asshole than a whole ass!

    Vice-principal (who’d been standing behind the kid): Both of you, come with me.

    I was suspended from the last day of school, which was awards day. I spent the day off making money by cutting neighbors’ lawns and two days later received a perfect conduct award in the mail. Apparently my teachers had all been pissed at my suspension, and stormed the principal’s office, demanding justice. Who knew I was so loved (or the other kid so hated, because really? He WAS an asshole.).

  6. willikat says:

    hm. i was a goody-goody so i don’t think i did much wrong in junior high. also:didn’t have many friends then either. a bleak time. wouldn’t go back for a million dollars.

  7. mrs. blogoway says:

    LOL. Hohobo.

    My friend, R., and I successfully pulled off the “I’ll say I’m spending the night at your house…” thing and went to a notorious party college 2 hours a way and stayed up all night jacuzzing and playing quarters. I was amazed we pulled it off.

  8. I put gin in a white rain hairspray bottle, and brought it to school. Later discovering, in a smelly bathroom stall with my bff, that white rain flavored gin tastes like shit.

    Good times.

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