I’m trying to finish Breaking Dawn today. Is it wrong that I’m really hoping for some hot vampiric gettings-on? Please, please, let there be twenty pages of VIVID VAMPIRE DESCRIPTIONS. I need this. I always fall asleep before those late night alien bikini movies come on Showtime. (And dirrrty tangent: have you ever fallen asleep in front of the TV while some innocent movie like Ghostbusters is showing and when you wake up hours later, it’s full-screen bumping uglies and you realize you’re watching Ghosthustlers! Just me? Just me with a reason to stay awake?)
In the meantime, here are some photos from last week’s Midwest escapade.
My brother-in-law Matt’s daughter Tori and my brother-in-law Monte’s daughter Megan. This is the pose I get when I say, “Everyone say ‘Myspace’!”
Monte had given all his father and his brothers dog tags with names of their children. His sisters received silver charm bracelets with the same emblems. My father-in-law held his tags, one with all eleven of his children on both sides and another one that read, “Reunion 2008.”
Monte is the youngest of the family and Mike is the oldest. Mike had the most pronounced tan he has ever had, thanks to two weeks of spray tans and tanning bed visits. It’s faded since then, thankfully. The spray tan stinks.
The teen members of the family show off their pedicures. You will never see a picture of my pedicured feet, bejeweled with white daisies. My feet are so enormous, I’d have to use a real flower on my big toe. I’ve actually been told to stay away from the Amazon jungle for fear that my mothra-footprints would deforest the fragile environment.
My brother-in-law Mark spun around his girlfriend Ashley. Over dinner one night, we got into a discussion why it takes women so long to answer a question and how if ten seconds pass between the question and the answer, it’s no longer communication. I argued that it’s really hard to have a conversation when the TV’s on because, sorry guys, Mythbusters will win out. Here’s a visual: guns and explosions > asking me if I paid the light bill.
Mark turned to Ashley and said, “Is that why it takes you so long to answer?” She shrugged and said, “Yeah.” LOVE HER.