I wouldn’t read this if you’re the type of person who says, “I’ve just lost my appetite.” I’ve never been one of those people. I can eat food during anything. I know, surprising right? I bet you thought I was such a delicate flower, a unique snowflake with a sensitive tummy who refers to her stomach as her “tummy.” I ate popcorn while watching SAW and Junior Mints the first time I watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Anyway I was talking to my friend Rachel about this whole second baby planning and I told her about the IUD still corking up my lady business. Then I realized that I probably wouldn’t get pregnant right away since I have to start ovulating. Isn’t that how babies are made? Did anyone take sex education in seventh grade? Do you still have the notes in your trapper keeper with the picture of Zach from Saved by the Bell taped on the front?
And then I was terrified because I haven’t had my period in almost a year. What if my period returns and it’s like that scene in The Shining when all the blood is coming through the elevators?
I thought about ending it with the video of that scene, but I’ll replace that image with an happier view: