There’s this weight loss surgery commercial for the Lap Band which features a black and white montage of people saying what they would do if they lost weight. One woman says, “I would visit my sister in Seattle.” I’ve always been puzzled at this part because what is she trying to say about Seattle? That we don’t allow morbidly obese people within city limits? We have a quota of fat people and she can only visit when I’m not in town?
That is completely untrue and I know this because I was allowed to buy a house and I don’t remember the mortgage application asking me, “What are you going to do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?”
I tried to make a lipdub of the Jem theme song but it seems my backup singer and I have creative differences.