she’s back

Last night Mike and I found out that a former boss of mine had started a smear campaign against Mike in his run for Poet Populist. She has lobbed several nasty allegations against my husband and she’s trying to get him disqualified with some vitriol that he cheated on his wife (!), sleeps around (!!), hates puppies (!!!), and VOLUNTEERS WITH RECKLESS ABANDON (@#@!!).

A few years ago, she had made it her goal to sabotage my career and spread wicked rumors about my life and relationship with Mike. I only know this because she had told me directly in my exit interview that she was concerned that I was in an abusive relationship since-oh get this-she didn’t hear me type enough. Yep, because she thought I was staring off into space (I was bored), I was being abused. Great sense of logic, that. She also spread this to my other coworkers after Mike and I arrived at the Christmas party late and left early.

She disapproved of the age difference Mike and I share, even though she should have filed that in, “NONE OF MY CROTCHETY BUSINESS.” Over coffee one morning, she said, “Men my age don’t date women like me because they’re dating women like you.” I bit my lip because she was my boss and I didn’t have the guts to reply, “No, because you say things like that, men don’t date you.”

It’s been a few years, but I remember how she had said that the only reason Mike proposed to me in front of thousands of people at a basketball game was so that I couldn’t say no. If you hear something as wonderful as an engagement, you say congratulations. And if you hear terrific news that your young former employee has become pregnant, you also say congratulations, not, “If that were me, I would throw myself down the stairs multiple times.”

When I met her at a baby shower last year, she remarked how I probably dropped out of college because I had been knocked up.

I’ve stored all these moments in the deep crevices in my brain, only digging into this trove whenever an interviewer has asked, “Have you ever worked with difficult people?” Having had bad boss is a great asset because it has helped me answer questions like that and really treasure the work I have now, a phenomenal nurturing place where I am appreciated as an employee and accepted as an individual, older husband and all.

I really hope that she can move on and leave our family alone. She has no reason to talk smack now, other than she still can’t stand that Mike and I are together. Maybe she’s wearing orthopedic shoes a few sizes too small. I know how that puts a frown on my face! Or maybe her favorite mumu shop has closed down. Those would definitely be sad times for me.

Have you ever had to deal with someone who drinks Ensure, noni juice, *and* haterade? I wish Dr. Steve Brule would make a For Your Health video about how sticking your senior-citizen parts in the rain will help alleviate chronic vaginal dryness. Hallmark doesn’t make that card. Whatever Puritans!

P.S. Please vote for Mike as Poet Populist! A vote for him is a vote against haters!

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Comments

  1. mrs. blogoway says:

    Wow, she sounds crazy AND resentful– what a great mix.

    I had a lady boss one time when I worked at the Estee Lauder counter. She was on speed and was so hyper. Her hands shook and she was constantly grooming herself, but I digress… I think Mike’s gonna win because of his beautiful poetry and ability to convey his thoughts in a fresh and exciting way.

  2. That’s horrible! Do you think she had the hots for Mike or maybe she was dumped by a guy for a younger woman? Because that kind of shit can’t come out of nowhere. Not that it makes it ok. AT ALL.

  3. Wow. I have had some crappy bosses in my former working life but that mess takes the cake. It sounds like she needs to be put in a home.
    And I would love to vote for your hubby…if I lived in the City of Seattle.
    Down with haters!

  4. Oh, man, what a KRAZYKAKES.

  5. thecandyqueen says:

    pop a cap in her ass? outta sight outta mind!

    In my experience, even though it’s not easy, you have to just let it go. It’s obviously her problem, not yours and she is a miserable person. I feel sorry for her actually, at the age she is you’d think she’d know better.

  6. This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. What a crazy, unhappy biotch!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Two thoughts come to mind. One is from Matthew 5:43-45 “…love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you…”

    The other is from a hairstylist in Kent named Claudia, “That bitch-ass skank should shut the F#@* up and buy a pallet of Vagisil at the next ho convention.”

    Kinda nice how both sentiments show genuine concern for my wife’s ex-boss-zilla but take slightly different paths to get there.

  8. I cannot believe she would stoop that low. That is so un-called for. She’s jealous, insecure, and unhappy. Would you like me to Fokai her for you? I throw some mean punches πŸ™‚

  9. plumeria*girl says:

    You’re a mighty strong person to keep your head up after all her comments. I’m glad that you kept your cool and didn’t go to her level. Don’t let her bring you down!

    She’s probably bitter because she’s either lacking sex or her “toy” broke LOL!

  10. like a library book says:

    I would have been fired on day #2 because I punched her. πŸ™‚ That’s one cuckoo dry vajayjay for sure. How resentful of her to resurface too.

    I voted for Mike – he’s winning. YAY !

  11. *wow* someone really needs to mind their own business. she seriously lacks tact. she’s probably single and miserable.

  12. Butrfly Garden says:

    I’m a pretty obsessive and resentful person. I hold grudges for a loooong time. But that bitch could make me look sane on my craziest day. Who has that much time and energy to invest in all that hatred?

    Gah. I voted for Mike. πŸ™‚ Again. And if anon is him, I like his way of thinking. πŸ™‚

  13. Butrfly Garden says:

    …and after my confirmation, he made it to the top. πŸ™‚

  14. ok i tried to comment on this yesterday and my browser was one big FAIL.

    anyway! i cannot BELIEVE that woman… HOW DO YOU END UP LIKE THAT? gah. how miserable.

  15. grrltraveler says:

    You mean Mike hasn’t won yet by a landslide? Damn!

    That lady is a KOOK. People who have bad stuff to say about other people have no life. That’s that.

    Anne

  16. i was gonna say what sizzle said. holy man, what a total psycho. i hope she gets the help she needs.
    and leaves you alone.
    and i hope mike wins. because that poem has come to me a few times, now quite a while after i read it. good writing will do that.

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