Last night Mike and I found out that a former boss of mine had started a smear campaign against Mike in his run for Poet Populist. She has lobbed several nasty allegations against my husband and she’s trying to get him disqualified with some vitriol that he cheated on his wife (!), sleeps around (!!), hates puppies (!!!), and VOLUNTEERS WITH RECKLESS ABANDON (@#@!!).
A few years ago, she had made it her goal to sabotage my career and spread wicked rumors about my life and relationship with Mike. I only know this because she had told me directly in my exit interview that she was concerned that I was in an abusive relationship since-oh get this-she didn’t hear me type enough. Yep, because she thought I was staring off into space (I was bored), I was being abused. Great sense of logic, that. She also spread this to my other coworkers after Mike and I arrived at the Christmas party late and left early.
She disapproved of the age difference Mike and I share, even though she should have filed that in, “NONE OF MY CROTCHETY BUSINESS.” Over coffee one morning, she said, “Men my age don’t date women like me because they’re dating women like you.” I bit my lip because she was my boss and I didn’t have the guts to reply, “No, because you say things like that, men don’t date you.”
It’s been a few years, but I remember how she had said that the only reason Mike proposed to me in front of thousands of people at a basketball game was so that I couldn’t say no. If you hear something as wonderful as an engagement, you say congratulations. And if you hear terrific news that your young former employee has become pregnant, you also say congratulations, not, “If that were me, I would throw myself down the stairs multiple times.”
When I met her at a baby shower last year, she remarked how I probably dropped out of college because I had been knocked up.
I’ve stored all these moments in the deep crevices in my brain, only digging into this trove whenever an interviewer has asked, “Have you ever worked with difficult people?” Having had bad boss is a great asset because it has helped me answer questions like that and really treasure the work I have now, a phenomenal nurturing place where I am appreciated as an employee and accepted as an individual, older husband and all.
I really hope that she can move on and leave our family alone. She has no reason to talk smack now, other than she still can’t stand that Mike and I are together. Maybe she’s wearing orthopedic shoes a few sizes too small. I know how that puts a frown on my face! Or maybe her favorite mumu shop has closed down. Those would definitely be sad times for me.
Have you ever had to deal with someone who drinks Ensure, noni juice, *and* haterade? I wish Dr. Steve Brule would make a For Your Health video about how sticking your senior-citizen parts in the rain will help alleviate chronic vaginal dryness. Hallmark doesn’t make that card. Whatever Puritans!
P.S. Please vote for Mike as Poet Populist! A vote for him is a vote against haters!