how is that "vegan" thing going, mona?

Well, funny you should ask, blog title.

It’s not.

My vegan diet ended during our family reunion in California back in July, somewhere between the hotel breakfast buffet and the corndog stand at Disneyland. I had a good three-week run before I succumbed to the salty, processed and overpriced meat bi-products and it was a losing struggle after that. I still have all the wheat gluten flour and nutritional yeast in my pantry, probably going to storage with the other Y2K rations and books on how to live off the grid.

At first, I was so revved on a new way of eating that I was deliriously performing double fist pumps in the air. I had a new energy rushing through my veins. I lost weight. My skin looked phenomenal. I really believed I could continue a diet that had so much wonderful, immediate effects.

And then I got tired. I wasn’t eating meat or dairy products, but I wasn’t eating right. I got lazy. Then I started having seafood pangs. I could find substitutes for chicken and beef, but there wasn’t any vegan replica of raw fish. I love the meaty goodness of sashimi, something my Midwestern husband can’t stand watching. He also detests how I put ketchup on *everything* and mayo on hot dogs. But I’m a package deal and my condiment fetishes come with.

After I started eating meat again, I tried a variety of diet rules which fizzled and failed until I was back where I had started. I would only eat fish, but no chicken! I would only eat chicken, but no red meat! I would only eat red meat, but only on Tuesdays! I would only eat cheeseburgers, but only during Entertainment Tonight, and only when Mary Hart was hosting!

I’m glad I gave vegan eating a good college try, albeit a short one. I admire those who can keep up with something as strict as not eating cheese! Not chugging heavy cream! Not getting angus steak stuck between your teeth!

I’m also glad to be eating sweet, glorious meat like the Thanksgiving turkey I baked in only two and a half hours:

I made this!

We didn’t have a platter large enough to fit the 18-lb bird, so we had to use an old lunch tray. Also featured in the photo is my vintage Pyrex bakeware which housed a heap of mashed red potatoes. It was not vegan.

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  1. I totally love pyrex. I have started a collection myself! It’s totally ridiculous cause I also have a milk glass collection!

  2. thecandyqueen says:

    Pretty much no one I know can stay vegan. Don’t even worry bout it.

  3. A lunch tray – that is ingenius! Good thinking!

    I’ve never tried to go vegan, or vegetarian (at least not on purpose) so I’m really glad you tested it out on my behalf! šŸ™‚

  4. Pickles and Dimes says:

    That is a delicious-looking turkey! Mmmmmmm.

    I’m with you on the ketchup. I put it on *everything*.

  5. You serve mashed potatoes with that pasta scoop thingy?

  6. Giyen: I got this one at Value Village. It was awesome.

    Candyqueen: thanks, animals everywhere are a bit more worried though.

    carrie: I’m making up for my meatless days now.

    Erin–yes. We ran out of scoopers.

  7. Nice bake ware sis. Me likey.

    Also, I was a “lazy” vegetarian too. My queue to start eating protein again came when my hair started falling out by the handfuls. Huh, guess eating lays potato chips, and french fries (although not meat) isn’t the way to go.

  8. skiplovey says:

    Welcome back to the fold. It’s tasty over here.

    I was a vegetarian for ten years. Ten years without corned beef on rye, what a waste.

  9. mrs. blogoway says:

    My friend’s Mom claims to be a vegetarian but she eats chicken?!

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