How Judge Judy is saving my marriage

I have always been a little sad that I can’t watch Judge Judy during the day since her show airs before I get home from work. Then I discovered I could watch Judge Judy on my iPhone (thanks YouTube!) and my commute became so much more bearable. It has also done wonders for my marriage. After each one of her rulings, I become incredibly grateful that my sweet husband has never done the following:

1. Stolen my welfare money to bail out his ex-boyfriend.

2. Shot me in the head with a paintball gun because he said it wouldn’t hurt and he would give me $10.

3. Stolen my dog and then pretended like it was his dog.

4. Wrecked my car by driving it into a tree to avoid hitting a deer and then refusing to pay for repairs because the whole thing was an “act of God.”

5. Used my Paypal account to buy over two grand in presents for his family

6. Using my credit card to make his car payments and then after breaking up, saying it was a gift instead of a loan.

7. Jumping me in a parking lot outside a club because I talked about his man.

8. Vomited on me because he’s in a band and that’s what they do to audience members they pull on stage.

9. Stolen my grandmother’s furniture and then held a garage sale with the items.

10. Left a dead, unregistered car on my driveway for more than a year.

It’s like Thanksgiving every day!

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  1. You picked a good one, all right! I mean, I’ll bet he has never even barfed on you AT ALL, not just not on stage.

  2. It blows my mind how stupid people can be. Those things really happened, right? Good God!

  3. The onstage vomitoreum is soooooo nasty–what band was that…if they are on JJ I suppose they aren’t too famous. By the way, tell your husband good job on his ability to resist doing any of those things…the temptation must be overpowering at times. p.s. if you really want to bring the romance into your marriage…. I suggest the divorce court show šŸ˜‰

  4. Kate @ Life As I Live It says:

    It’s the little things that mean the most, huh? šŸ™‚

  5. stfu? nfw. says:

    My life is so boring compared to those peoples’ … Thank Goodness!

  6. wow. and see, i’ve never done any of those things either. i should have men BEGGING me to get married by now!

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