I have always been a little sad that I can’t watch Judge Judy during the day since her show airs before I get home from work. Then I discovered I could watch Judge Judy on my iPhone (thanks YouTube!) and my commute became so much more bearable. It has also done wonders for my marriage. After each one of her rulings, I become incredibly grateful that my sweet husband has never done the following:
1. Stolen my welfare money to bail out his ex-boyfriend.
2. Shot me in the head with a paintball gun because he said it wouldn’t hurt and he would give me $10.
3. Stolen my dog and then pretended like it was his dog.
4. Wrecked my car by driving it into a tree to avoid hitting a deer and then refusing to pay for repairs because the whole thing was an “act of God.”
5. Used my Paypal account to buy over two grand in presents for his family
6. Using my credit card to make his car payments and then after breaking up, saying it was a gift instead of a loan.
7. Jumping me in a parking lot outside a club because I talked about his man.
8. Vomited on me because he’s in a band and that’s what they do to audience members they pull on stage.
9. Stolen my grandmother’s furniture and then held a garage sale with the items.
10. Left a dead, unregistered car on my driveway for more than a year.
It’s like Thanksgiving every day!