It’s my 26th birthday today!
This means that I’m officially too old to even be selected for The Real World. Also, I might be too old for my husband. I think he likes women who need to have him cut their steak. Actually, he prefers women who need to have their steak pureed, sealed in a baby food jar and fed with a rubber-tipped spoon while coaxed with a sing-song, “OPEN UP FOR THE AIRPLANE! NEEEERRRRR!” And that’s fine because he might be too young for me. I prefer men just released from the ICU, preferably with a rolling oxygen tank, so that they’re close to death but they can still use both hands. RAWR!
I don’t have many plans today, other than watching the inauguration this morning (I’ll gladly share this day with you Obama), a meeting this afternoon and dinner plans tonight. I’m also too old to replicate the birthday party I had at Chuck E. Cheese. Believe me, I checked.