Thanks to a last-minute offer from my brother to take Nathan for the evening, my husband and I were allowed to celebrate Valentine’s Day without hearing a little human asking for JUICE! MORE JUICE! All the restaurants were packed and offering a minimum wait of at least an hour so we headed over to one of my favorite places in the whole world: the Chinese buffet. I love buffets in general, but especially one that offers beef broccoli, bacon-wrapped shrimp and crab. Eating crab in a restaurant has only happened recently because it’s such a messy meal and I still haven’t mastered using a cracker. It’s called a cracker! How dainty can you be with something that can either be a delicious source of carbohydrates or a disparaging name for my Caucasian brothers and sisters?
Back on Saipan, I’d work my way through a pot of crabs using only my bare hands and appetite. I would go. to. town. Like to undersea town where Darryl Hannah in Splash lived before she came on shore.
I was still happy to be with my husband, a man who doesn’t think that a wife with shellfish bits on her shirt is a turn-off.
And my internet friend, I didn’t buy you flowers. All I have is this video gift: How to Defend Yourself Against Someone Attacking You (via molls).