-When I was a kid, I sometimes fantasized that I would be the first Pacific Islander on The Real World. Then that show Real World Hawaii popped up and I lost my chance to Ruthie, the drunk girl.
-I sometimes google people from my past to see what shows up. Sometimes I find out awesome information like my ex-boyfriend’s brother now makes money traveling the world and writing about it for college students and other times the information isn’t as joyous like my first grade boyfriend who was eventually arrested for assaulting a police officer.
-When someone is about to pass me and I can tell from looking at the person that he/she is going to smell really rank, I always hold my breath until he/she walks by.
-When I’m on the bus and we drive by the Megamillions billboard, I always imagine what I’d do with the potential winnings. And if the number changes, I always wonder about the person who did win and whether he/she is just going apeshit at Target. Because that is what I would do.
-Sometimes when I carry Nathan, I think, what if some apocalyptic disaster happened and I was forced to carry Nathan on my back to get to the nearest source of water because I guess in my sick fantasy there are no strollers or shopping carts I can fashion into strollers. Even in my fantasy, I wouldn’t be able to carry him for very long. Kid’s heavy.
-I always check my facebook profile to see if anyone’s added me as a friend! Sadly, no one adds me as a friend.
-I have never been in a hot air balloon and I don’t think I ever will be because I am terrified of heights and it doesn’t take much elevation to send my poor heart into panic.
-I never liked AJ Soprano or his sister Meadow.
-I never made it past chapter 2 of Eat, Pray, Love. I think Elizabeth Gilbert was still going, “WHYYYY MEEEEE?!?!!” before I put the book down and vowed never to read anything from Oprah’s Book Club.