In other news

The risk of announcing my pregnancy is that this will become ALL ABOUT THE BABY, and while I do intend on sharing what will happen in the next few months, there are still other non-baby related goings-on in case you’re not interested in how I satisfied my food cravings by getting down with the get down at the Chinese buffet.

1. The other week, Mike did something to the blinds in our upstairs bedroom and now they won’t lower flush with the window and so it leaves about a four-inch gap. I wouldn’t mind other than that this four-inch-gap falls right at my crotch level, meaning, anyone on the street can just look up and HELLO PEEPSHOW! It’s become uncomfortable because I have to change in my closet and I do not have to live like this! Mike doesn’t care, he walks around in his boxers while I yell, “THIS IS WHY I CAN’T TALK TO THE NEIGHBORS!” I guess I could start charging money for the entertainment, that way we could pay to fix whatever is wrong with the blinds and I will bring in so much money from people who just will pay me lots of cash to please stop.

2. There are bees on the side of our house. They have built a nest in the rock crevice and when they’re not in their bee cave, they’re stinging my husband or buzzing around my son as we walk outside. My husband has filled in the rocks with dirt, sprayed over the area multiple times with bee killer, and still, they’re there. They return, zipping around like, “WHAT NOW SUCKAS?” I would punch them in their face if I were more coordinated and I knew how to punch and IF THEY WOULD JUST STAY STILL!

3. Sometimes I mispronounce words when speaking to my husband and every time I hope he doesn’t notice, but he never fails to call me out and repeat the bumbling job of the English language. This weekend, I was putting clothes away when I found his socks mixed in with mine. I handed them to him and said, “Here are your shoes.” I knew what I said, but I channeled Lady Gaga with my puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-poker face, pretending that nothing happened.

Still, my husband paused, looked at what was clearly NOT SHOES in his hand and said, “What did you say?”

So, how’s your week going?

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  1. Daniel insists on taking the trash to the trash room in his boxers. It’s right next door to our unit in the building, and he usually goes out early, but still. He doesn’t understand why it bothers me. Men!

  2. rachelgab says:

    Ha! I have huge windows in the living room of my small apartment and do not have blinds on them so I assume that people get a free peep show all the time. I am more like mike in that way, I guess I don’t care! But maybe I should put a tip jar out?

    This feels like the longest week eva.

  3. I feel ya’ sista! The words that escape my mouth sometimes… I have NO clue what portion of my brain they escape from. I don’t tend to use incorrect words so much as suddenly slip into this place where I speak as if I’m some back roads hill billy on her way to da crick to catch hers some cra-DADS.

    The worst is my horrible grammar will pop up right in the middle of a discussion, usually right in the middle of a feeble attempt to sound intelligent. It’s like my subconscious actually gets pleasure in watching me squirm in social situations.

  4. Speaking of lady Gaga and peep shows…did you know she has a penis?……………..and a vagina.

  5. We have those “matchstick” style blinds like this:
    and at night when we have lights on in the house, you can TOTALLY see in our windows… I either turn out the light in our room and change really fast or just take my clothes to the bathroom and change in there. It’s crazy, but other than that, I like how they look on the windows. LOL.

  6. ha! I do that word thing all the time! But my husband never calls me on it…my kids do. They think they are so smart…

  7. Mo, you gotta be careful…. Should I tell mom, she’d be so proud! Just kidding…but that’s something mom would have done….say what she sees and not what she means to say!….

    Love ya

  8. I am interested in your Chinese food cravings. Just read that and now am srsly thinking about getting some egg rolls, so thanks.

  9. ROFL – I do that too! I say things like, “Will you hand me the Tooth Floss” because I cannot remember the word DENTAL. Ben snickers at me and says, “Oh you mean *teeth string*???”

    … yeah, the teeth string.

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