to sleep, perchance to dream about George Clooney

Thank you so much for all the supportive messages on facebook, twitter and on this blog. It’s heartburstingly awesome that I say something like I’m pregnant and there’s a collective “YAY!” that rings through the internet. So thank you many times over and I hope you’ll come over and babysit this hatchling because holy harry potter if I’m this tired during the pregnancy, I can only imagine the equation being Screaming Baby + Screaming Toddler = Mommy Yelling So She Can Win Mario Party 8’s Star Battle Because BOWSER IS TOTALLY CHEATING!

I am truly excited for this second child, but this feeling juts against the incredible first trimester exhaustion that has set in. I yawn a lot during the day, try to work harder to fight off desires to crawl under my desk and nap. I haven’t taken a flat iron to my thick jungle hair mop because it requires my lifting my arms above my head and really, that energy is better spent doing something else, like dreaming of George Clooney.

Right after I announced that I was pregnant, I had my first sexy dream with Mr. Clooney. He let me trace his stomach muscles with my fingertips but I woke up before we got to make our own movie: Ocean’s Sixty-Nine. My other pregnancy dreams, while not as bow-chica-bow-wow, are still incredible. The kind of government-experimenting-with-LSD vividness that makes me wish I could have recorded it so I can relive swinging on vines through through a foggy jungle while screaming, “WEEEEEE!”

This part of the pregnancy I love–the dreams, the trips to the consignment store for maternity tops and pants (even though I discovered Gap makes maternity pants with a TAPERED LEG? Really, GAP? ). There are other parts of this early pregnancy that I can easily categorize as “I HATE YOU AND YOUR ASSFACE” which include but are not limited to: monstrous prenatal pills and vitamins, the fish burps from pills that promise no fish burps, and my lack of interest in food.

I recognize the anti-cravings since I had them with Nathan and the last time they were so intense, I practically collapsed in my husband’s arms, crying, “THIS BABY HAS STOLEN MY LOVE OF FOOD!” It’s almost that bad now. I make laps around the grocery store, looking for something–anything– that sounds appealing, but I walk out with barely enough to feed a toddler. I eat because I have to, because the baby needs vitamins and minerals but I have not had a satisfying meal in weeks.

If you can think of anything I should try eating, something with texture and crunch because lord I am having some mouthfeel issues this week, I’d really appreciate it.

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  1. Why didn’t I have dreams like that when I was pregnant? I feel totally cheated.

  2. All I ate for the first trimester of both of my pregnancies was cereal. Golden Grahams with the first, and I have already forgotten what I ate with the second. I’m sure it was equally unhealthy though. Then in the second trimester I added cake. šŸ™‚

    Hope you feel better soon. Pregnancy is infinitely harder when you already have a small one at home and have to find energy for them in the evenings. Let me know if I can do anything to help!

  3. As someone whose never been pregnant, one part of me wants to say:

    1. That ‘cheesy crunchy chewy salty chalupa thing’ from taco bell because the advertisement on TV is a pregnant woman telling her husband she wants something ‘cheesy, crunchy, chewy and salty’ and he goes and gets her a chalupa thing from taco bell.

    the other part of me wants to say:

    2. maybe stick with local organic veggie healthy stuff cause if you’re not craving anything and nothing will taste good, might as well load up on all that stuff until the appetite does come back and you’re fantasizing about holding the KFC/Ben and Jerries/Burger guy at gunpoint and saying “EVERYTHING, IN THE BAG, NOW.”

  4. I didn’t have too many vivid dreams, which for me was a blessing since the few I did have were horrible nightmares that were so awful and frightening, I woke up screaming and crying.
    I had cravings for strawberry milk and beef jerky. I know. Totally gross. But I couldn’t get enough of it. As to suggestions for you, I have none. Maybe some Jell-o. There’s always room for Jell-o!

  5. Doritos. Only because I am eating some right now. šŸ™‚

  6. capn crunch berries with milk and 2 scoops of ice cream!

  7. Arlene Cabrera says:

    Mo, first of all, I would like to congratulate you on your second addition to ur familia. He or She will be the 13th Grandchild of Nanai! Mo, you mentioned crunch? well try frying lumpia (you could find frozen ones at an asian store) or making it yourself ( you could also ask si MILA to make some for u – oh sorry shes Basaiyan – I porgot). I asked bobbie what you are craving for but she didnt know. So what are you craving for? STEAKS? Cheese and crackers? Chocolate Cake? Love you Mo….just take care especially walking up the stairs or running down!

  8. How about Greek yogurt with honey, granola, and dried fruit?

    (OMG, did I just suggest something remotely healthy? Because really, what I meant to type was: “YEAH GO GET THAT THING FROM TACO BELL!”)

    I feel you on the non-appetite thing. All I wanted for the first six months of my pregnancy was pasta with butter and parmesan cheese.

  9. I totally had that hot dream thing when I was pregnant…with BOTH of my kids. Hormones are amazing things. Congrats on the good news.

  10. I had the best dreams when I was pregnant. Pretty sure orgasms were involved. It was great. I’d wake up and think “wow, did that really happen? Can’t wait for bed tonight!” As for food – I’m no help there. I ate tons of fast food bc well, it was fast. I had the sickness that needed to be constantly fed to feel better. So McDonalds it was… all the time.

  11. The last time you were prego with Nathan, QFC was selling mangoes at 10 for $10. I thought I was going to have to call Jeff from A&E’s Emmy-nominated TV show “Intervention”.

    “Well, Mona, I see a lot of people in this room who love you like crazy, but they’re afraid of losing you and they’re willing to fight to get you back. This is just an invitation to join the fight.”

    The first to read his letter would be the Produce manager at QFC. “Mona, store profits have increased 23% since you became pregnant, and we’re importing a truckload of mangoes a week just for you. Business is good. But it’s destroying you and your gastrointestimal system. So from on, when I see you come in the store and hook three carts up train-style, I’m going to insist you go to Albertson’s. Their mangoes are always too mushy to eat. This hurts me more than it hurts you.”

  12. When I was pregnant with my third, all I really wanted to eat was kettle-cooked potato chips with horseradish-bacon dip. Also, the occasional (OK, every other night or so) rootbeer float.

  13. i want your dreams! minus the pregnancy….that is. šŸ™‚

    in terms of snacks – i’ve been munching on raw sugar peas (or was it snap peas). yummy!


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