I put the mona in hormonal

I cried at work yesterday. El número uno place for not crying. I was on the phone with a colleague when he asked me a pointed question and I started bawling. I tried to cover up with just replying in short answers–yeah, no–but instead it had same effect of weeping into a bullhorn. I was pretty mortified that I became so dramatically unhinged like that especially since I was on the phone and without a Nicholas Sparks book around for me to shakily point and whimper, “This story gets me every time! Every single time!”

I broke the cardinal rule for the workplace: don’t be the woman who cries, especially the pregnant crying woman whose unborn child probably has more maturity than she does. I can’t undo it, ctrl-z the ugly cry. And it was ugly–red faced puffy hyperventilating fetal position ugly. It took me thirty minutes to stop looking as red as the puppet from Saw.

I know my hormones are driving this crazy train. I wish A&E would add to their Monday lineup a show called, “Hormones,” which would have the tubular bells of Intervention and the dramatic opening narrator of Hoarders who always pronounces the title as, “HORRR-DERS!”

The show could feature hormonal pregnant women who fly into a rage when they can’t locate a pair of pants or when they go into the bathroom and discover that their husbands have placed the shower curtain rod so high that it leaves a five inch gap between the curtain and the tub, totally NEGATING the purpose of a shower curtain! There could be the screenshots explaining how many times these women yell, “I AM THE WRONG ONE!”

I think it would be really successful. Sorry I can’t end this properly. 2001: A Space Odyssey is on and I’m not crying, THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY EYE, DAVE!

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  1. argh, I cried at work once, on the phone with a (bitchy!) client. It was horrible. And I worked with all guys at the time, so THAT was awesome. I feel your pain.

  2. I would TOTALLY watch that show…

  3. How pointed was the question? I don’t think anyone thinks any less of you… I wouldn’t, anyway.

  4. I am taking two weeks off from school because I just can’t handle the stress right now and am crying all the time (not to mention nautious). You are not alone

  5. My poor sweet baby! I wish I was there to defend you…

    When I was pregnant, I was sick and moody and a total downer to be around. After about 7 months of this, Bill decided to go to The Annual Blues Festival (by himself!) and when I found out, I broke down sobbing and crying….

    He still went without me.

  6. This post makes me crush on you hard. And hole. E. Cow. If they premiered with that Michelle Duggar Chick on Hormones, I would french kiss the TV.

    PS: When I googled that chick’s name to see how to spell it, google’s second suggestion was “Michelle Duggar’s Hair” for things I might be looking for. Hahahahahahahaha! — because I’m post natal, I laugh at everything instead of weeping. Meet you on the flip side.

  7. You are awesome. That’s pretty much all I wanted to say.

  8. The one thing my husband had trouble dealing with during my pregnancies were my “mood swings”.
    (quotes because I do not remember having these but that just may illustrate how massive they were…)
    He said they were worse than PMS. Friggin’ baby.
    Keep that Nicholas Sparks’ novel handy. You are not done yet.

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