I was at girls night yesterday, complaining about how I hate that scene in Knocked Up when Katherine Heigl’s character is giving birth and one of the stoner roommates walks into the delivery room and runs out because he sees her vagina.
My problem with that scene is THAT IS NOT WHAT A VAGINA LOOKS LIKE. That was a stunt vagina, a vagina double, a vagina whose porcelain unstreched exterior could negotiate a reasonable day rate. A vagina that probably has a SAG card (heh). And yet millions of childfree men and women saw that scene and downloaded that image and now believe that is the delivery room deal.
Granted, I had a skewed view of pregnancy when I was growing up. My mother would send me on errands with the instruction, “Go to the store BUT DON’T GET PREGNANT.” Like pregnancy was on aisle 6, next to the soups and pasta and it’s on sale.
In the third grade I watched this Cinemax-style movie called The Unborn. All these women went to some nutjob fertility doctor and became pregnant with murderous pyschic babies who killed the men and partners. From the womb! That movie is not an accurate representation of pregnancy. I mean, there wasn’t even a birthing plan, other than MURDER.
There are so many shows now that depict pregnancy as being a ho-hum (emphasis on HO) experience, like TLC’s A Baby Story with the delivery nicely edited and packaged so you can make chicken tacos in the kitchen because nothing will happen until it’s 20 minutes into the program. And even then, there are three or four pushes, a few shots of a red faced woman, and suddenly a baby! No yelling, speaking in tongues or gripping of the husband’s/partner’s arm until it’s squeezed off. No mother walking in and making some comment that it looks like two chinchillas fighting in there. Especially chinchilla analogies!
I get it that pregnancy isn’t glamorous, birthing isn’t sexy. It’s hard to feel sexy when you have a hemmorhoid so huge you can claim it as a dependent (even though Turbo Tax’s live chat person doesn’t agree with me!). It’s not like I can start a revolution, I’m just one large pregnant woman who knows too much.