Five things I want to say to five people who read my blog, and therefore can’t write on my own blog

The following entry is part of an anonymous blogshare hosted by Abby. I’m participating in it, too! Check out the links at the end!

1. When someone compliments your clothes/house/jewelry/ANYTHING, the polite response is “Thank you,” not “I know.” You may think that when I say, “Ooh, your engagement ring is so pretty,” you are politely agreeing with me by saying “I know. My fiancé did a great job!” You are not. You say “thank you” when someone compliments you. Did no one teach you any manners?

2. You are not an expert on every topic. It’s okay to not have an opinion on some things. When other people are talking about a subject you don’t know much about, feel free to keep your mouth shut. Otherwise, you’re just making yourself sound stupid and arrogant.

3. You’re a new mom, and I’m happy for you. But you know what’s not okay? Saying that your baby is “the cutest baby ever.” When you say that, do you know what everyone else hears? “My baby is cuter than your baby.” It’s not a competition. How do you not get that? And while we’re at it, please stop going on about how perfect your marriage is. You like your husband. WE GET IT.

4. You are obsessed with money. That’s not an attractive quality. We all want to make enough to live the way we want, but most people have figured out that it’s not necessary to talk about it all the time. Literally every sentence out of your mouth is about money, so don’t act surprised when people get annoyed with you, or when they think you married for money. Also, it’s none of your business how much I make, so quit asking.

5. You’re a smart person. I’ll never understand why you married someone so much stupider than you.

Thanks, I feel better now.

More blogshare posts here:
A Little Coffee With My Cream and Sugar
And You Know What Else
Another Bloody Mary
Bright Yellow World
Cake or Death
Dispatches from the Failed Mommies Club
Feel Me Don’t You
Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men
My 33 People
Nothing Is Easier Than Self-Deceit
Postcards from Inania
Rediscovering Me
Snow Covered Hills
Tales of a tree-hugging 2L
The Gay White North
The Little Goat
The Opposite of Classy

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  1. I wish someone had told me #1 before I was in my mid-20s. Seriously. You shouldn’t hide that one behind an anonymous blog post. Tell them.

    6. Your kid is a brat. I am not questioning your parenting or lack thereof, but your kid is an undeniable brat. I don’t like spending time with him and I hope you can nip this in the bud before your 2 year old turns into a monster teenager.

  2. I kind of like “I know”. Especially if it comes with a wink. It’s honest.

  3. I am going to have my kids read this and commit it to memory. Heeding your advice will lead to popularity and prosperity!

  4. I appreciate a good “Thank you!” But sometimes I want to give credit where credit is due with my engagement ring. The husband picked it out all by himself. (It is neither large, nor flashy but somewhat unique) I usually say Thank you first, before telling the person that I had no responsibility for picking it out.

    Also, I have to say that I don’t mind the “cutest baby ever” remarks. I do believe that parents think their own babies are the cutest of the lot. Evolution at work to keep parents from stealing others “cuter” babies. 🙂

    But on another note:I also think that the “Best day EVAR, and Most adorable outfit EVAR, and bestest friend ever!” Thing is kind of a slang trend. Mostly meaning best thing EVAR at that moment in time. Not fully literal.

    And I second the “your kid is a brat” My cousins kids in particular (they are 7 and 9 so there is NO excuse for rude behavior) You aren’t doing them any favors by giving them everything they want and laughing at them being rude to elders.

  5. Oh…. PS. Wasn’t trying to sounds snotty or disagree with your anon poster! I really liked the post and agreed with what was said!!!! No excuse for bad manners!

  6. I could have written this exact post. Number 4 is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.

  7. Ha! I had a good laugh at this with Vahid.

    Too bad I found out too late that he didn’t have any money…

  8. What a great idea! Whish I had seen it in time to sign up. Am following Abby now, so hopefully I’ll see the next.

    And my Pie IS the cutest baby ever. I kid, I kid…

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