my cat could’ve written this

cat on a hot tin couch

cat on a hot tin couch

Mike’s very expensive Life Partner Leather Couch came in last week. He had purchased an bitter but non-toxic orange spray from the pet store, something that was supposed to keep the cats off of it and prevent them from getting any ideas that this was their new scratching post. So far, this spray hasn’t worked. As you can see, that is my cat Lilo, lounging on the furniture, a big Cee-Lo FU to her owners.

What’s worse is that the orange spray is really bitter and has only affected the humans living here. Nathan sprawled on the couch and then I kissed his face and it tasted like a robot had peed in my mouth. And believe me, I have had some crazy days in my past. I have done the robot. Can I get a witness, my fellow objectum sexual ladies?! Sometimes those bridges are just asking for it!

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  1. That shit never works.

    And my kitchen walls, chewed to bits are proof.

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