Our family was in Redmond today having spent the morning at a pumpkin patch. We were hungry and Nathan didn’t have enough time wiggling in muddy hay so we pulled into a McDonald’s that had a playland. I should have known this would be ones of those hoity-toity spots because of all the luxury cars jammed in the parking lot, but here are some other reasons why we were in the fancy pants McDonald’s and not in the seventh circle of drive-thru hell–the kind that doesn’t even let you pull up fast enough to the order menu so you can glimpse at what the person in front of you just ordered. TRY TO TELL ME YOU DON’T DO THAT!
1. Inside the bathroom, there were actual toilets and not just a wastebasket with toilet paper draped around the stall. I don’t like to feel like I’m peeing in a war zone. Just saying!
2. The guy in the booth next to us had his mother and three kids with him and there were THREE IPADS for them to peck at. THREE. IPADS. Even if they only bought the cheapest versions, that would still amount to over $1,500. Do you know how many Happy Meals that could buy (three hundred) or how many waxing sessions I could buy to keep me from having a unibrow (ONE)?
3. Almost every everyone there had a smartphone. Not one of those pre-paid gizmos with fancy fluffy animal keychains hanging from it. And at least one other person had checked into foursquare at the same time as I did. Though I didn’t see anyone reading The Economist, I’m sure they could read it on their phones or just click on the app that only plays the sound of money.
4. AND THIS.
There’s a corner with a basketball hoop and a small court. WHAT KIND OF SICK HOOP DREAMS IS THIS? I actually think a gym is a great idea, compared with all the other things that could have been there, especially any of the ideas that I have, like a large portable heater cranked up to its highest setting and sippy cups full of Olde English 800. The room would be called INSTANT NAP TIME 4 KIDS!