I do not shop well (and a giveaway ending today!)

i do not understand this

I walked into a glitzy store at the mall. The music thumped through the brightly lit interior, beautiful teenagers and their inquisitive mothers necklaced themselves around the scattered racks. Nathan and Mike were stationed at the playarea outside. I had TJ strapped in the baby carrier. I had some money to spend on work clothes and Mike insisted that I not go to the thrift store and instead buy clothes–new ones, ones that no one had ever worn before! Fancy times in this house!

A young saleswoman came up and asked if I was finding everything all right, which just means, “Please do not ask me for anything.” I held back from telling her that I was not finding everything all right. I wanted to tell her that the shoes I buy for my post-partum feet are found in the men’s section. I baked blueberry scones but they were so bland and tasteless that I would have had more flavor if I had just scooped a cup of cornstarch into my mouth. I cannot remember the title of the thesis I wrote for my senior honors class in Victorian literature but I can spout off lines from Judge Judy as if I am really giving legal advice (“‘UM’ is not an answer!”) So no, young saleswoman, I am NOT finding everything all right.

I asked her where the “professional” clothing was. I was looking for skirts I could wear at work. She paused, looked around and said, “Well, we sell ones like what I’m wearing!” She pointed to the thin swath of jersey fabric she wore as a skirt, as if she mistook what I meant by “professional.”

But hey! I’m giving away a $100 Visa Card and all you have to do is comment on sick days in your home. It ends TODAY (11/18) at 5PM PST!

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  1. I’m scared of fancy stores. If it gets much nicer than Ross or Marshalls, I start to get nervous šŸ™‚ Thanks for your caption on the picture. I was reading it and reading it and do not understand it either. Thought I was going crazy.

  2. Heh! Professional.

    Speaking of which, we just watched one of those HBO hookers on teh point documentaries. It was beyond entertaining, but our favorite part was when one young lady stopped mid servicing to answer her phone and said, “girl I’m sucking d**k right now, Imma have to call you back”

    I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. Now it’s our standard line if we call and either of us can’t talk. We like to keep it classy.

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